[after discovering Shrek must kiss his true love for his transformation to be permanent]
Maiden #2: Oh, pick me. I'll be your true love!
Maiden #1: I'll be your true love.
Maiden #3: I'll be true... enough.
Donkey: [repeatedly] Are we there yet?
Shrek: The kingdom of FAR FAR Away, Donkey? That's where we're going! FAR, FAR away!
Donkey: [to Puss-in-Boots] I'm sorry, the position of annoying talking animal has already been taken.
Shrek: [about the trumpeters and messenger who gave Shrek and Fiona the invitation] How do you explain Sgt. Pompous and the Fancy Pants Club Band?
Shrek: Oh, look! A little cat.
[Puss-in-boots brandishes his sword]
Donkey: Look out, Shrek, he got a piece!
[Shrek steals two noblemen's clothes]
Shrek: Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you, unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.
Puss-in-Boots: [trying to convince Shrek not to neuter him] Please, no, por favor, por favor, please no, I implore you. I was doing it for my family! My mother she's sick and my father he lives off the garbage. The king offered me much money and I have a little brother...
Donkey: [carriage runs over Donkey] Oh, God! help me, please! My racing days are over! I'm blind! I'm blind! Tell the truth. Will I ever be able to play the violin again?
Princess Fiona: I want what any princess wants - to live happily ever after... with the *ogre* I married.
Shrek: Donkey? you're a...
Donkey: A stallion, baby! I can whinny!
[whinnies]
Donkey: I can count!
[stomps his hoof]
Donkey: Look at me, Shrek! I'm trotting!
[Donkey collapses in a dead faint]
Puss-in-Boots: Hey, boss. Let's shave him.
Donkey: Pray for mercy, from Puss!
Puss-in-Boots: And Donkey!
Donkey: [to Puss] If we ever need an expert on licking ourselves, we'll give you a call.
Chef: Bon appétit!
Donkey: Oh, Mexican food! My favorite.
King: [Donkey sits at the table] No, no! Bad donkey! Bad! Down!
Princess Fiona: Dad, it's alright, it's alright. He's with us. He helped rescue me from the dragon.
Donkey: Yup, that's me, the noble steed. Hey waiter! How 'bout a bowl for the steed?
Shrek: That's it, Mongo! To the castle!
[Mongo heads to the giant cup on top of Farbucks Coffee]
Shrek: No, no, no, no! You great stupid pastry!
Fairy Godmother: Harold, you have forced me to do something I really don't want to do.
King: What... Where are we?
Fast Food Clerk: Well, hi there! Welcome to Friar's Fat Boy. May I take your order?
Fairy Godmother: My diet is ruined! I hope you're happy.
