Sausage Party Quotes

Douche: [sees Frank] Oh, so now you're gonna come at me, bro?
Frank: Oh, I'm coming at you!
[prepares to punch him. But Darren tries to grabs Frank]
Douche: Okay, we got him. Easy now, easy now.
Darren: Well, it's hard when your head's up my ass and you're yanking on the scrote!

Douche: Look, sausage... I relish the fact that you mustard the strength to ketchup to me!
[to Mustard, Ketchup and Relish]
Douche: Yeah, that's right, shut your mouths.
[to Frank, cackling]
Douche: I sucked a juice box's dick, and I'm shoved up a God's asshole, and this is the weirdest thing that I've done so far, bro!

[takes a bite of his torso, Frank screaming in pain]
Brenda: [gasps, shocked] Oh, my God! FRANK!
Douche: I'll tell you who eats shit: Gods do, bro... I'M A FUCKING GOD!
Darren: Good-bye, little sausage.
[prepares to kill Frank]

[Douche seeing that Brenda, Lavash, Sammy Bagel, Jr. and Teresa have vanished and turns to Tequila]
Douche: What gives, bro? You told me you had them! So you dragged me over to this fucking aisle with all these illegal products, and now I don't see them. So where the fuck are they? SPILL THE BEANS!
Refried Beans: Que?
Douche:

Beans, I swear to fucking God if you don't shut the fuck up!

Firewater: Hello there, little sausage. You and your friends have accomplished the impossible and for that, I give you mad props. But, now that you have shattered one truth: It is time for you to learn... that we are not REAL.
Gum: While tripping balls, Firewater and I made an important meta-psychical breakthrough.
Firewater: The

world is a fucking illusion, bro. Our lives are being manipulated for the entertainment of monsters, twisted, tasteless, juvenile monsters, puppet masters in the other dimension! We're something called... Cartoons.
[Frank, Brenda, Kareem, Sammy, Barry and Teresa gasped]
Frank: What?
Firewater: You, Frank... are a plaything in the demented

schlubby Jewish actor named:
[the image of a Jewish actor]
Firewater: Seth Rogen.
Frank: Wait. I'm Jewish?
Sammy: So... who am I?
Gum: You are the toy of a more talented and celebrated actor named:
[the image of a Celebrity actor]
Gum: Edward Norton.

Sammy: Edward Norton? What kind of parent gives that kid of stupid cunt name like that?
Gum: Worry not, friends. I have a solution.

Frank: Hey, Brenda. What up, girl?
[chuckles]
Frank: Sorry about those guys. such fucking dicks, right?
Carl: Oh, I can hear you, dude.
Frank: [turns to Carl] Shut up, fuck you.
[turns back to Brenda]
Frank: So, uh, Tomorrow's the big day, huh?
[chuckles]

Frank: You and me, finally gonna be official.
Brenda: I'm so happy, the Gods put our packages together.
Frank: Because, we belong together.
Frank: It's like, we were made for each other.
Frank: I can't wait just finally get up in there, just raw-dog it. But full disclosure, I'm pretty

fucking nervous about this. I don't know how well, I'm gonna perform once it happens. I've obviously never been in a bun, so.
[chuckling]
Brenda: Hey, I'm not gonna be any better. I've never opened up. I mean, look how tight I am.
Frank: Oh, sweet fucking fuck. Look, okay. I know it's against the rules. But, I can't wait anymore. I need to

just feel you.
Brenda: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Frank, Brenda: Just the tips?
Brenda: I can't believe we're doing this.
Frank: I know. We're so naughty.
Brenda: It's fine, right? I mean, nothing bad's ever happened from just the tips.

Frank: No. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.
[Frank and Brenda tries to touching the tips]
Frank: Oh, yeah. Go in. Put it in there.
Brenda: Big tip.
Frank: Oh, you wouldn't dare.

Frank: Friends... Ramen... Country Club Lemonade... Lend me your ears of Corn. I'm Frank and I am a sausage... a little sausage with some pretty big news... Everything we've been led to believe is a lie! When we get chosen by the Gods, they're choosing us for death! Murder! Automatic expiration!... The Great Beyond is bullshit!
Indian Chutney: What?

Chunk Munchers Cereal: That's crazy talk!
Lettuce: You're a liar!
Frank: I know you don't want to believe it... But I have proof!
[shows everyone the page of people eating food, everyone reacts with shock and horror]
Licorice Rope: What is this!
Relish: It's - it's MURDER!

Carl: [after being insulted by Brenda] Dude, um, how do I say this to you gently? But your girlfriend, um... She's a fucking cunt.
Frank: Shut up! She's fresh as fuck, and you know it.
Carl: Dude, I just don't why you're limiting yourself to one bun. There's plenty of buns out there.
Frank: Because I believe

in bun-ogamy. I'm a bun-ogamist, and when a bun this fresh is into you, all you ask is when and how deep.

Douche: What's up, little juicy box? You're leaking too, eh bro? And right out of your fucking dingle. Fucking sucks, right?
Juice Box: Dying... so cold...
Douche: [notices that the juice box is leaking, he gets an idea] Uh-oh. Light bulb.
Light Bulb: Yes?
Douche: No. Not fucking you,

dummy.