Safety Not Guaranteed Quotes

[Jeff approaches Kenneth's house. He clearly has not done enough research, and acts like a smiling, bobbing idiot]
Jeff: Kenneth Calloway, right? Is that right? My name is Jeff.
[He extends a hand to shake, which Kenneth ignores. Jeff is grinning too much]
Jeff: Look, I saw your ad in the, uh, Classifieds. I want to know if you need a partner.

Kenneth: What's your mission?
Jeff: What do you mean, what's my mission?
Kenneth: What's your reason for going back?
[Jeff has changed from smiling maniacally to frowning]
Jeff: Oh, well, who wouldn't want to go back? It's an amazing opportunity. To go back in time, you know? See gladiators, and

watch dinosaurs with my own eyes. Have sex with a pilgrim? That's all I wanted. I want to go back. It's neat. Who wouldn't want to go back, Kenneth? YOU want to go back. Why do YOU want to go back? Well, do you need a partner?
Kenneth: Can you look fear and danger in the eye?
Jeff: That's an odd question.
Kenneth: Have you

ever stared fear and danger in the eye and said YES.
Jeff: Sure.
Kenneth: Get off my porch.
Jeff: Let's start over. Come on, we can be pals. Let's go back in time.
Kenneth: Man, that smile. What is that smile? You don't know pain, you don't know regret, you don't know...
Jeff:

[agreeing with everything and leaving with his arms raised] Okay. Well, look, it was really nice to meet you.
Kenneth: [grimly] That's what I thought.

[Jeff joins Darius and Arnau in the car after a badly-managed interview with Kenneth]
Jeff: Huhh!
Darius: So what'd he say?
Jeff: Well, he's the real deal. That ad is no prank. He's not, like, retarded, but there's something wrong with this guy. Definitely didn't like my ass, I'll tell you that.
Arnau:

So, so what; that's it?
Jeff: Oh, no. This just got good.