257 Rick and Morty Quotes (2024)

Rick and Morty

Morty: Don't run. Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everybody's gonna die. Come watch TV.

Rick and Morty

Therapist: Why didn't you want to come here?
Rick: Because I don't respect Therapy. Because I'm a Scientist. Because I invent, transform, create and destroy for a living and when I don't like something about the World I change it. And I don't think going to some rented office in a strip mall to listen to an Agent of Averageness explain which words mean which feelings has

ever helped anyone do anything. I expect it's helped a lot of people get comfortable and stop panicking, which is a state of mind we value in the animals we eat but not something I want for myself. I'm not a cow! I'm a Pickle! When I feel like it. So, you asked...

Rick and Morty

[repeated line]
Morty: Oh, geez.

Rick and Morty

Rick: I hate to bust your bubble Morty but love is a chemical reaction that compels animals to mate. It hits hard, then slowly fades leaving you floundering in a failing marriage. Break the cycle, Morty! Focus on Science.

Rick and Morty

Rick: When Smart people get happy they stop recognising themselves.

Rick and Morty

Rick: The teenage mind is its own worst enemy.

Rick and Morty

Rick: Stop digging for hidden layers and be impressed! I'm a Pickle!

Rick and Morty

Morty Jnr: I'd rather breathe poison than live another day with you!
[He can breathe fine]
Morty Jnr: My Life has Been a Lie! God is dead! The Government is Lame! Thanksgiving is about killing Indians! Jesus's birthday wasn't on Christmas, they moved the date, it was a Pagan Holiday!

Rick and Morty

Morty: Parents are just kids having kids.

Rick and Morty

Rick: Sometimes Science is More Art than Science, Morty. A lot of people don't get that.

Rick and Morty

Rick: Oh, well, I can't cure Death.

Rick and Morty

Mr Meeseeks: Meeseeks are not Born into this World fumbling for meaning, Jerry! We are Created for a Singular Purpose which we will go to any lengths to fulfill! Existence is Pain to a Meeseeks, Jerry, and we will do anything to alleviate that Pain!

Rick and Morty

Summer: Is that a real question?
Jerry: Just making conversation
Summer: Are you? What part of that gives me anything to work with? My choices are to say nothing, be sarcastic, or bark "Yes!" like a trained animal. It's not a conversation, you're holding me verbally hostage.

Rick and Morty

Rick: The answer is Don't think about it.

Rick and Morty

Rick: You're going to play that move? You have a Holiday called Ricksgiving! Kids learn about me at School!
Zeep: I dropped out of School, it's not a place for smart people.
Morty: Oooh, snap!

Rick and Morty

Morty Jnr: I don't want to Masturbate! I want to conquer the planet!

#the

Rick and Morty

Rick: Good pitches, kids, I'm almost proud. But watch closely as Grandpa topples an Empire by changing a 1 to a 0.
Insectoid 1: Mr President, the Blemphlark's value just dropped to nothing!
Insectoid 2: What do you mean?
Insectoid 1: I mean our single centralised Galactic Currency just went from being worth one of itself to being worth zero of itself.

Insectoid 2: Calm down people! Deploy the Galactic Militia and declare Martial Law.
Insectoid 3: Yes sir! What shall I pay them with?
Insectoid 4: Their payment will be the honour they feel to serve... wait a minute, who's paying me to yell at this guy?
Insectoid 1: I can answer that, for money!
Insectoid 2: Gentlemen! There's a solution here you're not seeing.

[Shoots himself]

Rick and Morty

Rick: When you realise nothing matters, the Universe is yours.

Rick and Morty

Rick: I put a Spatially Tessellated Void inside a modified Temporal Field until a Planet developed intelligent life. I then introduced that life to the wonders of electricity! Which they now generate on a Global Scale and some of it goes to powering my engine and charging my phone and stuff.
Morty: You have a whole planet sitting around making your power

for you? That's Slavery!
Rick: It's society! They work for each other, Morty, they pay each other, they get married and have children to replace themselves when they're too old to make power.
Morty: That just sounds like Slavery with extra steps!
Rick: Ooh la la! Someone's going to get laid in College...