Evelle: Do they blow up in funny shapes?
Grocer: Nope. Unless round's funny.
Dot: You soak his thumb in iodine and you might get by without the orthodonture, but it won't knock a thing off the university.
Ed McDonnough: You guys just can't stay. I appreciate you being friends of Hi and all but this is a decent family here.
Gale: [Quietly, to H.I] Say, who wears the pants around here, H.I.?
Gale: Got you on an awful short leash, don't she, H.I.?
H.I.: Nathan Jr accepts me for what I am! And I think you better had, too! You know I'm okay, you're okay! That there's what it is!
H.I.: I found myself driving past convenience stores... that weren't on the way home.
H.I.: Now, y'all without sin can cast the first stone.
Ed McDonnough: I'm not gonna live this way, Hi! It just ain't family life!
H.I.: Well... it ain't "Ozzie and Harriet."
H.I.: Prison life is structured - more'n some people care for.
Gale: [during the bank robber] I told you not to use our names, Evelle!
Evelle: [pauses] You mean our code names?
Gale: Oh yeah.
Evelle: You hear that everyone? We're usin' code names.
Dot: Rollie! You take that diaper off your head and you put it back on your sister!
Nathan Arizona Sr.: I got the cops and the Federal BI out there lookin' for my boy...
Leonard Smalls: Cops won't find your boy. A cop couldn't find his butt if it had a bell on it.
Ed McDonnough: We finally go out with decent people and you break his nose. That ain't too funny, Hi.
H.I.: His kids seemed to think it was funny.
Ed McDonnough: Well they're just kids.
Glen: Mind you don't cut yourself, Mordecai.
Gale: Welcome Home Son... ? Where's he been?
Glen: That Buford's a sly one. Already knows his ABC's. Hit the deck, boy!
H.I.: He's a scandal in't he, he's a little outlaw.
Ed McDonnough: Naw, he-he-he's a good boy.
H.I.: He ain't too good, you can tell by that twinkle in his eye.
Gale: Anyone found bipedal in five wears his ass for a hat!
