Raising Arizona
Raising Arizona

Policeman: Do you have any disgruntled employees?
Nathan Arizona Sr.: Hell, they're all disgruntled. I ain't running no damn daisy farm. My motto is "Do it my way or watch your butt!"
Policeman: Well, do you think any of them could've done it?
Nathan Arizona Sr.: Oh, don't make me laugh. Without my say-so they wouldn't piss with their pants on

fire.

Raising Arizona
Raising Arizona

H.I.: What are you talkin' about, Glen?
Glen: What am I talkin' about? I'm talkin' about sex, boy, what the hell you talkin' about? I'm talkin' about l'amour! I'm talkin' that me and Dot are swingers, as in "to swing." I'm talkin' about wife swappin'. I'm talkin' about what they call nowadays open marriage. I'm talk...
H.I.: [Knocks

Glen to the ground with a punch] Keep your goddamn hands off my wife!

Raising Arizona
Raising Arizona

H.I.: A man for a husband.
Ed McDonnough: That ain't no answer.
H.I.: Honey, that's the only answer.
Ed McDonnough: That ain't no answer.

Raising Arizona
Raising Arizona

Dot: I'm sure you have the life insurance squared away?
Ed McDonnough: Have we done that honey? We gotta do that honey!
Dot: You gotta do that HI! Ed's got her hands full with this little angel.
H.I.: Yes, ma'am.
Dot: What would Ed and little angel do if a truck came along and

splattered your brains all over the interstate?
Ed McDonnough: Yeah honey! What if you get run over?
Dot: Or carried off by a twister?

Raising Arizona
Raising Arizona

H.I.: My dearest Edwina, Tonight, as you and Nathan slumber, my heart is filled with anguish. I hope that you will both understand and forgive me for what I have decided I must do. By the time you read this, I will be gone. I will never be the man that you want me to be, the husband and father that you and Nathan deserve. Maybe it's my upbringing. Maybe it's just that my genes got

screwed up. I don't know. But the events of the last day have showed amply that I don't have the strength of character to raise up a family in a manner befitting a responsible adult. I say all this to my shame. I will love you always, truly and deeply. But I fear that if I stay, I would only bring bad trouble on the heads of you and Nathan Jr. I feel this thunder gathering even now. If I leave,

hopefully, it will leave with me. I cannot tarry. Better I should go, send you money, and let you curse my name. Your loving - Herbert

Raising Arizona
Raising Arizona

Ed McDonnough: I love him so much!
H.I.: I know you do, honey.
Ed McDonnough: I love him so much!
H.I.: I know you do.

Raising Arizona
Raising Arizona

Payroll Cashier: Gubmint do take a bite, don't she?

Raising Arizona
Raising Arizona

Grocer: [tired of counting backwards after Evelle has robbed him] Seven hunnerd an' ninety-one... Aw, bullshit!

Raising Arizona
Raising Arizona

Dot: You gotta get 'em dip-tet boosters yearly or else they'll develop lockjaw and night vision

Raising Arizona
Raising Arizona

H.I.: Biology and the prejudices of others conspired to keep us childless.

Raising Arizona
Raising Arizona

Gale: Well, H.I., looks like you've been up to the devil's business.

Raising Arizona
Raising Arizona

Evelle: We need someone handy with a scatter gun to cover them hayseeds while we go in there and get that cash!

Raising Arizona
Raising Arizona

Ed McDonnough: What would have happened if me and Ed Junior got picked up for accessory to commit armed robbery?
H.I.: Aw, it ain't armed robbery if the gun ain't loaded.

Raising Arizona
Raising Arizona

Gale: Why ain't you breast-feeding? You appear to be capable.
Ed McDonnough: Mind your own bid'ness.
Evelle: Ma'am, you don't breast-feed him, he'll hate you for it later. That's why we wound up in prison.
Gale: Anyway, that's what Doc Schwartz tells us.

Raising Arizona
Raising Arizona

Nathan Arizona Sr.: Dammit, are you boys gonna chase down your leads or are you gonna sit drinkin' coffee in the one house in the state where I know my boy ain't at?

Raising Arizona
Raising Arizona

Evelle: I got me some baby grub, baby wipes, diapers, them disposable kind. I also got a package of balloons.
Gale: They blow up into funny shapes and all?
Evelle: No, just circular.

Raising Arizona
Raising Arizona

[first lines]
H.I.: [voiceover] My name is H.I. McDonnaugh. Call me Hi.

Raising Arizona
Raising Arizona

Evelle: Gale? Um, Junior just had a - an accident.
Gale: What's that, pardner?
Evelle: He had hisself a little ol' accident.
Gale: What do you mean? He looks okay.
Evelle: No. You see, moving though we are, he just went and had hisself a little ol' rest stop.

Gale: [sniffs the air] Well, that's natural.

Raising Arizona
Raising Arizona

Nathan Arizona Sr.: You know what I think? I think you're an evil man. I think this is a shakedown. It's nothing but a Goddamn screw-job. I think you took Nathan Jr.
[reaches for telephone]
Nathan Arizona Sr.: And you, my fine friend, are the one who's gonna get his butt kicked.
[Turns around, then turns back to find Smalls had gone]

Raising Arizona
Raising Arizona

Nathan Arizona Sr.: All right, boy, I guess you got a reward coming. Twenty-five thousand dollars. Or, if you need home furnishings, I can give you a line of credit at any of my stores. In fact, that's the way I'd rather handle it. Tax reasons.
Ed McDonnough: We don't want no reward. We didn't bring him back for money.
Nathan Arizona

Sr.: We can work it that way, too!