David's Mom: When your father was here, I used to think, "This was it. This is the way it was always going to be. I had the right house. I had the right car. I had the right life."
David: There is no right house. There is no right car.
David's Mom: God, my face must be a mess.
David: It looks great.
David's Mom: Honey, it's really sweet of you, but I'm sure it does not look "great."
David: Sure it does. Come here.
David's Mom: I'm 40 years old. I mean, it's not supposed to be like this.
David: It's not supposed to be anything. Hold still.
David's Mom: How'd you get so smart all of
a sudden?
David: [long slow smile] I had a good day.
Big Bob: [bangs the gavel] You're out of order!
David: Why am I out of order?
[approaches Big Bob]
Big Bob: Because I'm not gonna let you turn this courtroom into a circus!
David: Well, I don't think it's a circus, and I don't think they do, either.
[David turns to look at the crowd, where many
of the black-and-white people are changing into color. There are gasps and murmurs. Jennifer grins]
Big Bob: [bangs the gavel] This behavior must stop at once.
David: But see? That's just the point! It can't stop at once, because it's in you, and you can't stop something that's inside you.
Big Bob: It is not inside *me*!
David: [amused] Oh, sure it is.
Big Bob: No, it is not!
David: [Leans forward and speaks confidentially with a mischievous grin] What do you want to do to me right now? Come on. Everyone is turning colors. Kids are making out in the street. No one is getting their dinner.
[Raises his voice for all to hear]
David: Hell, you could have a flood any minute! Pretty soon, the women could be going off to work, while the men stayed at home and cooked!
Big Bob: That is not going to happen!
David: [with defiant delight] But it *could* happen!
Big Bob: [enraged] *No, it could not!*
[Big Bob suddenly turns pink, and
David grins victoriously]
Betty Parker: Mary Sue?
Jennifer: Yeah?
Betty Parker: What goes on up at Lover's Lane?
Jennifer: What do you mean?
Betty Parker: Well, you hear these things lately... kids spending so much time up there. Uh, is it holding hands? That kind of thing?
Jennifer:
Yeah! That and...
Betty Parker: What?
Jennifer: It doesn't matter.
Betty Parker: No, I wanna know.
Jennifer: Well, sex.
Betty Parker: Oh. What's sex?
Jennifer: This place gives me the creeps! Did you know that the books are blank?
David: What?
Jennifer: Yeah, I was in the library and I looked, and they have covers and there's nothing inside of them.
David: What were you doing in a library?
Jennifer: I got lost.
[after Mary Sue explains to Betty about sex]
Jennifer: Are you okay?
Betty Parker: Um, yes. It's, uh, just that your father would never do anything like that.
Jennifer: Ahhhh.
Betty Parker: Mmm.
Jennifer: Well, you know, Mom, there are other ways to enjoy yourself... without Dad.
Betty Parker: [Betty is in color, George is still black & white] George, look at me. Look at my face. That meeting is not for me.
George Parker: You'll put on some make-up.
Betty Parker: I don't want to put on make-up.
George Parker: It'll go away. It goes away.
Betty Parker: [firmly] I
don't want it to go away.
Big Bob: Up until now everything around here has been, well, pleasant. Recently certain things have become unpleasant. Now, it seems to me that the first thing we have to do is to separate out the things that are pleasant from the things that are unpleasant.
Jennifer: Hey, can I ask you a question?
David: Sure.
Jennifer: How come I'm still in black and white?
David: What?
Jennifer: I've had, like, ten times as much sex as the rest of these girls, and I still look like this. I mean, they spend, like, an hour in the back seat of some car and
all of a sudden they're in Technicolor?
David: I don't know. Maybe it's not just the sex.
Skip: I don't know if I ever told you this before, but I think you're just about the keenest girl in the whole school!
Jennifer: Oh, really Skip? The keenest?
TV Repairman: Hey - who did Muffin take to the Masquerade Ball when her date came down with the measles?
David: Her father.
TV Repairman: That's right! And how'd she dress him?
David: As Prince Charming.
TV Repairman: Nice! Remember the one where Bud lost his cousin when he was supposed
to be watching him?
David: Yep.
TV Repairman: What department store did they go to?
David: MacIntyre's.
TV Repairman: McGinty's.
David: No! MacIntyre's! Remember?
[sings a jingle]
David: "For the very best in men's attire, head right down to
MacIntyre's."
[smiles proudly]
TV Repairman: That's right.
[Looks consideringly at David]
TV Repairman: Listen, uh, why don't you take this remote instead? It's got a little more oomph in it.
David: Oomph?
TV Repairman: Sure! Big beautiful set like that? You want something'll put you right
in the show.
[as David takes the remote control, the room fills with supernatural flashes of lightning and a rumble of thunder]
David: I know you miss her, I mean, you told me you did. But maybe it's not just the cooking or the cleaning that you miss. Maybe it's something else. Maybe you can't even describe it. Maybe you only know it when it's gone. Maybe it's like there's a whole piece of you that's missing, too. Look at her, Dad. Doesn't she look pretty like that? Doesn't she look just as beautiful as
the first time you met her? Do you really want her back the way she was? Doesn't she look wonderful? Now, don't you wish you could tell her that?