I believe the world to be a muffin pan, and there certainly are a lot of muffins here.
A typical Sunday meal will be brunch at 11 A.M. I'll probably do muffins, proper scrambled eggs and sweetcorn fritters, which the kids love. Kedgeree's another thing I like, and if any of the West Indian family are over, definitely ackee and saltfish.
I started keeping track of my pet peeves and so far have counted over 160... but to pick one: muffins. They're imposters. They think they're breakfast food, but really, they are just terrible cupcakes.
Those women with collagen lips just look like frogs - 'muffin mouths,' I call them. There's not a line on their brows, and all the emotion gone from their faces, like all those actresses in 'Desperate Housewives.'
I eat breakfast pretty much 'round the clock - muffins in the morning, scones for lunch, cereal at night - which may be odd but is also oddly satisfying, if only because the choice is my own.