Neal: [waitress hands them the bill, Neal nabs it] I'll get that. I've paid for everything else, why break precedent?
Del: You're making me feel like a freeloader!
Neal: Get me on the train, we're square.
Del: You got it. That's the easy part.
Del: Six bucks and my left nut says we're not going to be landing in Chicago.
Neal: Well, let me just close this conversation, saying you are a unique individual.
Del: What is unique, uh...? Latin for "asshole?"
Del: I didn't introduce myself. Del Griffith. American Light and Fixture, Sales Director, shower curtain ring division.
Screaming Driver, Screaming Driver's Wife: You're going the wrong way! You're going to kill somebody!
Del: The last thing I want to be remembered as is an annoying blabbermouth!
John: [peers his head in the elevator] You'll never make the six.
Del: I guess this is probably a good time as any to tell you this. Our tickets are only good to St. Louis. St. Louis to Chi-town is booked tighter than Tom Thumb's ass.
Neal: [on tequila and Doritos] What do you think? You think this is a good combination?
Del: No, probably not.
Bus Lover: Why don't you take a picture? It'll last longer.
Del: Neal, trouble on the home front? Huh?
Neal: I really don't think that's any of your concern.
Del: You know, the finest line a man will walk is between success at work and success at home. I gotta motto: Like your work, Love your wife.
Del: Next time, let's go first class, all right?
Neal: God, I hope there isn't a next time.
Del: I had no idea those beer cans were going to blow like that.
Neal: You left them on a vibrating bed, what did you think was gonna happen?
Del: It's been a long day. It just - it just didn't occur to me.
Neal: It didn't occur to you; so, I have to sleep in a puddle of beer!
Del: You're going to be in Chicago in less than three hours, around there, if we don't hit traffic, and I don't think we should - it's Thanksgiving. We're movin' now.
[chasing after his stolen cab]
Neal: You're messing with the wrong guy!
