Longfellow Deeds: What up, Chuck?
Longfellow Deeds: Are you sure about that?
Crazy Eyes: Time heals all things... except these crazy eyes.
Rev. Al Sharpton: That was freaky.
Babe: And this is my brother Denny's room,
[opens a closet door]
Babe, aka "Pam Dawson": they didn't like my brother very much.
Jan: I always wanted to be a man!
Longfellow Deeds: Okay, well I guess that explains a lot...
[in the Pizza-Place, just after asking Jan if Deeds was there]
Cecil Anderson: Is Mrs. Deeds around?
Jan: Mrs. Deeds? I don't think that poor boy ever had a date.
Babe: Awww, he's choking. We should leave.
Emilio: Here are some aspirins, Mr. Deeds. They make your head seem smaller.
Jan: Deeds isn't in right now, he's making deliveries 'cause our regular delivery guy called in sick. But you don't look very sick, Murph.
Murph: Oh, I forgot I was fakin' sick today.
[starts walking away]
Murph: You guys played me like a fiddle. Touche!
Longfellow Deeds: How did I get into these pajamas?
Emilio: I changed you. I was very gentle, sir.
Chuck Cedar: If I lose control of this company, it will be catastrophic.
Chuck Cedar: Did we find this heir yet?
Longfellow Deeds: [to Chuck] Handshakes are for strangers, pal. We hug around here, buddy. What's up? What's up?
Longfellow Deeds: I promise to love you for fifty years more / Even when your bosoms sag down to the floor.
Longfellow Deeds: [singing] # This is major Tom to ground control / I'm stepping through the door #
Longfellow Deeds: [to Emilio] I got wicked bad frost bite when I was in the scouts. Check it out.
Babe, aka "Pam Dawson": He writes greeting cards.
Longfellow Deeds: And if it wasn't for Miss Dawson being here, I'd probably knock your heads in.
Babe, aka "Pam Dawson": I don't mind.
Longfellow Deeds: Okay.
