I rarely fly, for environmental reasons more than anything else.
If you go on stage with an agenda, you have to accept not everyone's going to agree with it.
I'd lie in bed in my dormitory and grab at bits of my body, wanting to tear them off... I was so large by then that, in the heat, my thighs chafed together and bled. I was very unhappy, and yet no one ever asked me how I felt.
Eventually, somewhere - be it on the Internet or somewhere else - I will host some version of 'The Daily Show.'
My purist comedy friends accuse me of being a Jack of all trades and master of none.
Catholicism has the clerical equivalent to a nut allergy - even a small exposure to change, and the whole thing will go into anaphylactic shock.
Political correctness is as exploitable as any other progressive ideal, but its aim is to stifle the incessant noise of those who flap their careless lips without a thought about those they might offend and why that might be important.
I've spent a lot of very happy times in Edinburgh as a result of playing virtually every festival since 1996. It's also a beautiful city in its own right, is walkable, within sight of the sea and mountains - and was too far north for the Luftwaffe to have done any damage, hence the spectacularly beautiful architecture.
Britain is obsessed with political correctness.
I have learnt that I am incapable of packing the right amount of clothing, probably because I start 10 minutes before I'm supposed to leave, and that I truly hate airports.
I'm best known as a stand-up comedian, but I'm a good actor in the right role.
No one wants life to end. It was bad enough when my last tour came to an end.
There are a lot of comics at the top end making staggering amounts of money and selling out stadiums. I think stand-up is a more intimate thing than that. Maybe because of the kind of comedy I do. It's like a discussion, but I'm the one with the microphone.
I failed to get into drama school, and my best friend told me I should do stand-up instead. I was always doing gags and voices, so he booked a gig for me without telling me. I only had four days to write it. I did a seven-minute set; the first four minutes were terrible, but the last two were amazing.
Offence is important; that's how you know you care about things. Imagine a life where you're not offended. So dull.
I am not racked with self-loathing. Some issues of guilt and shame, but I'm a pretty good guy.
Guilt is feeling bad about what you have done; shame is feeling bad about who you are - all it is, is muddling up things you have done with who you are.
All my shows are therapy, trying to navigate interesting subjects so I can work them out and to be honest and say some things are beyond the wit of this man.
I find myself by default an atheist but fairly unhappily so. It would be bloody marvelous if there was a god.
I don't mind not being cool; I wear a cardigan.
