Machete
Machete

[last lines]
Sartana: Where will you go?
Machete: Everywhere.
Sartana: Then I'll ride with you...

Machete
Machete

Machete: You're a fighter.
Luz: Only when there's something worth fighting for.

Machete
Machete

Senator McLaughlin: Well, I wanna thank y'all for coming out today, and I wanna thank my supporters from the bottom of my heart. Because we have been tested - tested by fire. Our border has been put to the test, and let me tell you: we have failed that test. The aliens, the infiltrators, the outsiders, they come right across by light of day or dark of night. They'll bleed us,

they're parasites. They'll bleed us until we as a city, a county, a state, a nation are all bled out. Make no mistake: we are at war. Every time an illegal dances across our border it is an act of aggression against this sovereign state, an overt act of terrorism. Everywhere I go in this state people are talking about change. I say "why change"? This is a great state founded on the principles of

liberty, I don't wanna change that. Our rightful citizens are hardworking Americans who earn their paychecks by the grit of their guts and the sweat of their brow! I don't wanna change that! "Change," that's what they want, change. Change the laws, open the doors. Red rover, red rover, let the terrorists come over! Let me tell you what change that'll bring: 68 cents. The jingle-jangle of pennies

in your pocket because the scavengers, the leeches, the parasites are walking away with your money, while you're left with the change. So, I wanna say one more thing: who you gonna vote for?

Machete
Machete

Machete: Get dressed.
Chica: It's too hot for clothes.

Machete
Machete

Doc Felix: [Machete sees surgical tools] Oh, you don't want to mess with that. That's a skull scraper; we use that to scrape the bones clean. And those cut through flesh just like butter.
Machete: [grabs nurses belt] Pass me that tank.

Machete
Machete

[Torrez is about to behead Machete]
Luz: He's gonna kill him.
Sartana: No he's not. He's Machete.
[Machete stabs Torrez through the stomach]
Luz: Got a point.

Machete
Machete

Sartana: I started working on the night shift taking out the trash. But I worked my way up. As translator, assistant... Now I'm Special Agent in charge of investigations.
Machete: Sounds like they still got you taking out the trash.

Machete
Machete

Nurse Mona: I can feel your eyeballs in my uterus!
Doc Felix: At least they're not in your colon.

Machete
Machete

Von Jackson: There's nothing I'd like more than to see that Mexican dance the Bolero at the end of a rope.

Machete
Machete

Von Jackson: The war's begun. Helter Skelter's here.

Machete
Machete

Sartana: I called in a few favors. Look at this. Got you all the right papers. You can start over now, be a real person.
Machete: [hands back the papers] Why do I want to be a real person when I'm already a myth?

Machete
Machete

Booth: Where is Machete and where are my wife and daughter?
Padre Benito del Toro: In hell!
[cries]
Booth: Then give them my best.
[nails Padre to a cross]

Machete
Machete

Julio: We just wanna help, bro.
Machete: I don't need you help.
Julio: If not us, then who?

Machete
Machete

Von Jackson: [after shooting a pregnant woman] I know most people don't like us. Call us vigilantes. But it's really about vigilance.

Machete
Machete

[first lines]
Federale Officer: [in Spanish; subtitled] We're federal agents, not martyrs. This is suicide. She's just another kidnap victim.
[holding up picture]
Federale Officer: What makes her special? Because she's a witness against Torrez? He probably has her locked up, drugged our of her mind. We don't have to do this!

Machete: If not us, then who?