I have a fear of being broke. That's what I have a fear of. I'm not kidding.
You men make up these rules, and now you get mad because I'm telling you what a real woman wants. She wants you to treat her like a lady if you want her to sit up there and put on all the lingerie!
I appreciate the audience for checking us as comics.
I love being a regular on 'Chelsea Lately!'
I worked harder at my craft, and it took some time, but here I am today doing what I want to do, which is entertain people.
Whatever you're destined to do, you will be.
If you are a woman with your own money, you have confidence. You have the pick of the litter.
It is harder to dress a bigger woman no matter what anybody wants to say.
What we're trying to do is take these words and soften them. I'm an African-American comic. I use the b-word in my act.
I'm what you call a satisfied single. I don't want to give any trip reports when I come home.
One day, we had a layoff at my job. And I went to my boss, and I said, 'Please save someone else's job. This is a win-win situation for the company and me - and just lay me off.' I did that in around 2003, and I never looked back. I became a full-time comic.
In 'Mother's Day,' which is directed by legendary director Garry Marshall, I play a mother figure to the character played by Jason Sudeikis from 'Saturday Night Live.' He's a widower, and I'm a mother who's helping him to get over the loss of his wife.
The president of CBS handpicked me for the 'Star Search' revival, which Arsenio Hall hosted. He picked 12 comics, and I was the only female. I always look to that as inspiration.
I was a latchkey kid, so when I saw the 'Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous,' that showed me that there was a different type of lifestyle out there. I was curious about it and amazed about it.
The thing is being honest with yourself. There's no rule that says you have to be married and have kids.
I'm fat, and I support fat celebrities, like Oprah.
Mom was a nurse's aide. She worked in various hospitals. She took care of us that way, and we ate government cheese. I survived.
They're smart in Orange County. Smart and rich - just how I like 'em.
Anyone driving a 1992 Cutlass, take it back, because I built it.
Men don't know how to act like men sometimes. Take the trash out. Open up the door. Rub my feet. I mean, it's a two-way street!
