I Love You, Man Quotes

[first lines]
Peter Klaven: So, my plan is to create this cluster of live/work lofts all along the perimeter here. And - come here - also I'm planning this neighborhoody, kind of dining and retail area in the central square. You know I even had this thought that you, Denise, and Haley could open up a second location for your store...
Zooey: Really?

Because Denise keeps talking about wanting to open up another branch.
Peter Klaven: Well it would be great. I I look, the land is a little pricey, so I couldn't develop it right away. But once I sell the Ferrigno Estate I figured out I could at least put a down payment on it, and still have enough money left over for the reception in Santa Barbara...

Zooey: What are you talking about, what reception?

Sydney Fife: [Extended Scene] And for the record, I saw Chocolat. Just delightful.
Peter Klaven: It is, right?
Sydney Fife: Yeah. I didn't expect to like it but Johnny Depp is just so versatile and winning.
Peter Klaven: He's the best, he's the best.
Sydney Fife: From Jump Street to

Fleet Street, the man is a revelation.
Peter Klaven: Depp wins you over.
Sydney Fife: I hated him in Don Juan DeMarco so much I never gave him a second chance - but this time he's Gilbert Great.
Peter Klaven: You don't think you're gonna like it but then you do because he's so good.
Sydney Fife: You

know what I like is that he's willing to discard conventional feelings about how to carry yourself as a movie star and live the way that he wants to.
Peter Klaven: You really get the feeling he does what he wants to do. It's amazing. He was in Platoon. Check out Donnie Brasco.
Sydney Fife: Brasco, my God.
Peter Klaven: I like

Ed Wood, too.
Sydney Fife: That guy can act. The combination of the chocolate and his acting, it lulled me into acquiescence.
[Zooey yawns]
Peter Klaven: So many times those romantic comedies with food don't work for me. Like Water for Chocolate.
Sydney Fife: Ah, Como Agua Para Chocolate. I read it in the original

Spanish.
Peter Klaven: Big Night's good too. That's another movie with food.
Sydney Fife: Yeah. That's with Joe Mantegna?
Peter Klaven: No, that's Stanley Tucci.
Sydney Fife: He's great. He's an actor's actor.
[Barry sneaks out to take a call]
Peter Klaven: Yeah, I think

so too. As is Tony Shalhoub.
Sydney Fife: Yeah.
Peter Klaven: Depp, man. Did you know he modelled Jack Sparrow after Keith Richard? From the Rolling Stone, from Rolling Stones.
Sydney Fife: Same old Pete.

Joyce Klaven: Peter always connected better with women.
Zooey: You know, I can see that because he is a great boyfriend.
Peter Klaven: Thank you fiancee.
Oswald Klaven: Also, you got to understand, Zooey, Peter matured sexually at a very early age. I remember taking him swimming when he was twelve-years-old,

kid had a bush like a forty-year-old Serbian.
Peter Klaven: Oh come on!

Peter Klaven: Hey Tevin.
Tevin Downey: Hey man.
Peter Klaven: What's so funny?
Tevin Downey: One of the guys in my fantasy football league just sent me a QuickTime, it's a grandma riding a Sybian machine.
Peter Klaven: Ha ha, what's that?
Tevin Downey: It's one

of those vibrating saddles that women sit on to give them like super intense orgasms.
Peter Klaven: Ohh...
Tevin Downey: Check it out. How sick is that?
Peter Klaven: It's very, that's very sick.
Tevin Downey: So awesome. She's a squirter! She's squirting! Peter, we got a squirter! Old faithful!

Peter Klaven: Hello fiance.
Zooey: Hey baby I totally forgot it's my turn to host lady's night.
Peter Klaven: Oh no prob, I have a fencing practice anyway. I'll grab a beer with Gil and the boys afterward, hit them with the big news
Zooey: Great! I gotta go, love you.
Peter Klaven: Love

you too.
Tevin Downey: Peter! Peter! I'm sending it to you.
Peter Klaven: No I don't want it.
Tevin Downey: You got it.
Peter Klaven: Ohh God. I don't even click it, how does it, I didn't click it on
Tevin Downey: She got a bush like a porcupine!
Peter

Klaven: I don't want to know anything about her bush. Hi, Lynette.