Good Will Hunting
Good Will Hunting

Chuckie: Christ, who did you call?
Will: No one. I forgot the number.
Morgan: You fuckin' retarded? You went all the way out there in the rain and you didn't bring the number?
Will: No, it was your mother's 900 number. I just ran out of quarters.
Morgan: Hey, how about we get off of

mothers, all right? I just got off of yours!

Good Will Hunting
Good Will Hunting

Skylar: [in a bar] Well, let's see if you can get this one. I've got a little story for you. All right. There's an old couple in bed. Mary and Paddy. And they wake up on the morning their... fiftieth anniversary. And Mary looks over and gazes adoringly at Paddy, she's like, "Aw, Jesus, Paddy. You're such a good lookin' feller. I love you. I want to give you a little present.

Anything your little heart desires, I'm going to give it to ya'. What would you like?" And Paddy's like, "Aw, gee, Mary, that's a very sweet offer. Now, in fifty years, there's one thing that's been missing. And uh... I would like you to give me a blow job. I would like that." And Mary's like, "All right." She takes her teeth out, puts them in the glass and she gives him a blow job. And

afterwards, Paddy's like, "Ah, geez, now THAT's what I've been missin'. That was the most beautiful, Earth-shatterin' thing ever. Beautiful Mary, I love ya'! Is there anything that I can do for you?" And Mary looks up at him and she goes,
[letting beer spill out of her mouth]
Skylar: "Give us a kiss!"

Good Will Hunting
Good Will Hunting

Sean: [to Will] You have a bullshit answer for everything.

Good Will Hunting
Good Will Hunting

Lambeau: [in a gentlemen's bar, attempting to prove to Sean that his interest in Will is not about fame] Tim, can you help us? We're trying to settle a bet.
Tim: Uh-oh.
Lambeau: Ever heard of Jonas Salk?
Tim: Sure, cured polio.
Lambeau: And you've heard of Albert Einstein?
[Tim laughs]

Lambeau: How about Gerald Lambeau? Ever heard of him?
Tim: No.
Lambeau: Thank you, Tim.
Tim: So, who won the bet?
Lambeau: I did.
[Tim walks off]
Lambeau: This isn't about me, Sean. I'm nothing compared to this young man.

Good Will Hunting
Good Will Hunting

Morgan: [in a bar] Man, I can't believe you brought Skylar here when we're all fucking bombed and been drinking. What the fuck is she gonna think about us?
Will: [sarcastically] Yeah, Morgan, it's a real rarity that we'd be out drinking.

Good Will Hunting
Good Will Hunting

Sean: [in a gentlemen's bar] Put it on my tab
Tim: You ever plan on paying your tab?
Sean: Yeah, chief. I've got the winning lottery ticket right here.
Tim: What's the jackpot?
Sean: Twelve million.
Tim: I don't think that will cover it.
Sean: Yeah, but it'll cover your sex-change

operation!

Good Will Hunting
Good Will Hunting

Will: Fuck you.
Sean: You're the shepherd.

Good Will Hunting
Good Will Hunting

Will: [in a police interrogation room] What the fuck do you want?
Lambeau: My name is Gerald Lambeau. The professor who you told to go fuck himself.
Will: Well, what the fuck do you want?

Good Will Hunting
Good Will Hunting

Chuckie: [while leaving a Little League baseball game] Morgan, I'm not going to Kelly's just because you like the takeout girl. It's 15 minutes out of our way.
Morgan: What the fuck are we gonna do that we can't spare 15 minutes?

Good Will Hunting
Good Will Hunting

Will: I didn't ask for this.
Sean: No, you were born with it. So don't cop out behind "I didn't ask for this".

Good Will Hunting
Good Will Hunting

Chuckie: [in Chuckie's dining room] Wait, Bill. Hold it. Did you hear that?
[Man moans upstairs]
Chuckie: Morgan! If you're watching pornos in my mom's room again, I'm gonna give you a fucking beating!
[Morgan runs downstairs]
Morgan: What's up, fellas?
Billy: Morgan, why don't you jerk off in

your own fucking house? Man, that's fucking filthy.
Morgan: I ain't got a VCR in my house.
Chuckie: Aw, c'mon, not on my glove.
Morgan: I didn't use the glove.
Chuckie: That's my Little League glove.
Morgan: What do you want me to do?
Chuckie: I mean,

what's wrong with you? You'll hump a baseball glove?
Morgan: I was just using it for cleanup.
Chuckie: Stop jerking off in my mother's room!
Morgan: Ain't there another VCR in the house?
Chuckie: It's just sad, bro.

Good Will Hunting
Good Will Hunting

Lambeau: [in Gerald's office] What happened at the MacNeil meeting?
Will: Oh, I couldn't go. I had a date, so I sent my chief negotiator.
Lambeau: On your own time you can do whatever you'd like Will, but when I set up a meeting with my associates and you don't show up, it reflects poorly on me.
Will: Well

then don't set up any more meetings.
Lambeau: Well, I won't. I'll cancel them. I'd give you a job myself, I just wanted you to see what was out there.
Will: Look, maybe I don't want to spend the rest of my fucking life sitting around and explaining shit to people.
Lambeau: I think you could show me some appreciation.

Will: A little appreciation?
[Will picks up the math sheet]
Will: Do you know how easy this is for me? Do you have any fucking idea how easy this is? This is a fucking joke! And I'm sorry you can't do this, I really am because I wouldn't have to fucking sit here and watch you fumble around and fuck it up.
Lambeau: Then you'd

have more time to sit around and get drunk instead, wouldn't you?
Will: You're right, this is probably a total waste of my time
[Will lights the math sheet on fire]
Lambeau: [Runs and grabs the math sheet to blow out the fire] You're right Will. I can't do this proof. But you can, and when it comes to that it's only about... it's just a

handful of people in the world who can tell the difference between you and me. But I'm one of them.
Will: Sorry.
Lambeau: Yeah, so am I. Most days I wish I never met you. Because then I could sleep at night, and I wouldn't... and I wouldn't have to walk around with the knowledge that there's someone like you out there.
[Will leaves the room]


Lambeau: I didn't have to watch you throw it all away.

Good Will Hunting
Good Will Hunting

Skylar: [before she leaves the bar] You're an idiot.
Will: What?
Skylar: You're an idiot. I've been sitting there all night waiting for you to come over to talk to me. But I'm tired now, and I have to go home, and couldn't just keep sitting there waiting.

Good Will Hunting
Good Will Hunting

Sean: [during a therapy session] So what do you really want to do?
Will: I wanna be a shepherd.
Sean: Really.
Will: I wanna move up to Nashua, get a nice little spread, get some sheep and tend to them.
Sean: Maybe you should go do that.

Good Will Hunting
Good Will Hunting

Will: [towards the end of a therapy session] Maybe you haven't met the right woman?
Sean: [angered] Maybe you should watch your mouth. Watch it right there, Chief!

Good Will Hunting
Good Will Hunting

Morgan: ...and the heavy set girl said that I had a receding hair line and that I was a couple pounds overweight and I was like 'Go fuck yourself!'... I swallowed a bug.

Good Will Hunting
Good Will Hunting

Morgan: [in Chuckie's car, Morgan in the passenger side back seat, Bill sitting in the backseat of the driver's side] Double Burger.
[singing]
Morgan: Chuck, I had a double burger!
Chuckie: Will you shut the fuck up? I know what you ordered, I was there.
Morgan: So give me my fucking sandwich.

Chuckie: What do you mean your sandwich? I bought it. Hey Morgan, how much money you got on you?
Morgan: I said I'd give you the change when we ordered the Sno-Cones when we pulled up, so why don't you give me my sandwich and stop being a prick.
Chuckie: Well why don't you give me your fucking sixteen cents you got on you and we'll

put your sandwich on layaway. There you go, keep it right up here for you, We'll put you on a program. Everyday you bring your six cents and at the end of the week you'll get your sandwich.
Morgan: Why do you have to be such an asshole?
Chuckie: What am I, fuckin' sandwich welfare? I think you should establish a good line of credit. Like how you

bought your couch, payment plans. Remember how your mother brought in $10 everyday for a year and she finally got her couch Rent-A-Center Style?
Morgan: Can I have my food now please?
Chuckie: [throws the burger at Morgan] Here's your fucking double burger!

Good Will Hunting
Good Will Hunting

Chuckie: [impersonating Will at a job interview] You're suspect! Yeah, you! I don't know what your reputation is in this town, but after the shit you tried to pull today you can bet I'll be looking into you. Now the business we have, heretofore, you can speak with my aforementioned attorney. Good day, gentlemen; and until that day comes, keep your ear to the grindstone.

Good Will Hunting
Good Will Hunting

Will: I'm pumped! Let the healing begin!

Good Will Hunting
Good Will Hunting

Chuckie: [in a bar] I didn't get on Cathy last night.
Will: No?
Chuckie: Nah.
Will: Why not?
Chuckie: I don't know.
[yells across room]
Chuckie: Cathy!
Cathy: What?
Chuckie: Why didn't you give me none of

that nasty little hoochie-woochie you usually throw at me?
Cathy: Oh, fuck you and your Irish curse, Chuckie. Like I'd waste my energy spreading my legs for that Tootsie Roll dick? So go home and give it a tug yourself.