Joey: I can't believe Ross is going out with Rachel's sister. Ya know, when Chandler made out with my sister, I was mad at him for, like, ten years.
Chandler: That was five years ago.
Joey: I know. You got five more years.
Chandler: Joey...
Joey: You want to make it six?
Monica: I'm Rachel. I love Ross. I hate Ross. I love Ross. I hate Ross.
Rachel: I'm Monica. I can't get a boyfriend so I'll stumble across the hall and sleep with the first guy I find there.
Rachel: I don't want my baby's first words to be "How You Doing"
Chandler: [to Ross] Three failed marriages, two illegitimate children... The personal ad writes itself.
Joey: So, what, you just want to stay here and wait for Rachel to come back from her date?
Ross: Yeah. I mean, this guy could be my baby's stepfather.
Joey: They go out on one date and you worry about her marrying him? He's not you.
Monica: Now come on, Chandler, the Miami Vice soundtrack? Really?
Chandler: They were just giving it away at the mall...
[Monica stares]
Chandler: ...in exchange for money.
Monica: Guys can fake it? Unbelievable! The one thing that's ours!
Rachel: Can you take care of Emma just for today?
Ross: Sure, just lend me your breasts and we'll be on our way.
[Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are trapped in Monica's bedroom]
Joey: I'm hungry.
Phoebe: We could eat the wax. It's organic.
Chandler: Oh great, food with hair on it.
Phoebe: No, not the used wax.
Chandler: Because THAT would be crazy.
Chandler: We're getting a house.
Monica: We're getting a baby.
Chandler: We're growing up.
Monica: We sure are.
Chandler: So who's going to tell them?
Monica: Not it.
Chandler: Not it. Damn it!
Janice: [Janice walks downstairs and finds Monica and Chandler looking at her house] What a small world!
Chandler: ...And yet, I never run into Beyonce.
Joey: I'm Joey. I'm disgusting. I make low-budget adult films.
[Chandler's roommate, Eddie has just accused him of sleeping with his ex girlfriend and killing his fish]
Phoebe: Why would you kill his fish?
Chandler: Because, Phoebe, sometimes after you sleep with someone you have to kill a fish.
Phoebe: I'm going to get a coffee. Anybody want anything?
Monica: I'll have a latte.
Ross: I'll have a blueberry muffin, with a decaf.
Chandler: I'll have a bagel with a little...
Phoebe: You know I was just being polite.
[Ross and Rachel are trying to decide a name for their baby]
Ross: OK, how about Ruth?
Rachel: Oh, I'm sorry, are we having an 89 year old woman?
Monica: I think I'd be great in a war. I'd, like, get all the medals.
Chandler: Before or after you're executed by your own troops?
