Tom Tucker: And now, here's Ollie Williams, with the BlaccuWeather Forecast. Ollie!
Ollie Williams: IT'S GON' RAIN!
Tom Tucker: Thanks, Ollie.
Lois Griffin: What's going on?
Stewie Griffin: We're playing house.
Lois Griffin: The boy is all tied up.
Stewie Griffin: Roman Polanski's house.
Peter Griffin: Brian, there's a message in my Alpha Bits. It says "OOOOOO".
Brian Griffin: Peter, those are Cheerios.
Glen Quagmire: Hi, Meg. Eighteen yet?
Meg Griffin: No.
Glen Quagmire: [Turns to Chris] Hey Chris, how's it going?
[repeated line]
James Woods: Oooh, a piece of candy.
Peter Griffin: [during a camping trip in a beautiful forest] You know, sometimes I feel like the whole world was made just for me...
[cut to the moon control room from "The Truman Show"]
Control Room Director: You think he's on to us, Christof?
Christof: No, he's an idiot.
Peter Griffin: Oh, you people can kiss the fattest part of my ass.
[Peter has accidentally unleashed the 10 plagues]
Peter Griffin: There has to be some explanation for this.
Brian Griffin: You want an explanation?
[slaps Peter]
Brian Griffin: GOD
[slaps Peter]
Brian Griffin: IS
[slaps Peter]
Brian Griffin: PISSED.
Lois Griffin: Peter, why would they make you president?
Peter Griffin: Probably because I can recite all 50 states in a quarter of a second.
[makes a loud, yelping sound that resembles a dog bark]
Lois Griffin: Peter, that was just a loud yelping noise.
Jaws: Hey. I'm gonna eat 'cha. I'm gonna eat that hairy leg. I'm gonna eat that other one, too. I can see right up in them shorts. Got lots of rows of teeth to chew you with. Dun-na, Dun-na, Dun-na. Oh, I did eat a fat kid on a raft earlier. That's OK though, I have been swimming a lot.
[eats the swimmers]
Jaws: . Yummy.
[Quagmire sees a cheerleader tied up in a bathroom stall]
Glen Quagmire: Dear diary: Jackpot.
Lois Griffin: [to Peter] Hey there, Sweetie! I got a wax this morning and let's just say you're cleared for landing. Huh?
Glen Quagmire: [from afar] Giggidy!
Peter Griffin: What's wrong, Stewie, don't you wanna pee in the toilet bowl like a big boy? Boy I remember when I learned to use a potty all by myself. I was so proud.
[Flashbacks to one year ago]
Peter Griffin: [Zips up pants] Hey Lois, I did it.
Peter Griffin: [in Sunday School with several children during story time] And when you die, you go to a wonderful place called heaven
[children gasp in delight, Peter starts laughing]
Peter Griffin: Nah, I'm just jackin' ya, you'll all rot in the ground.
[children look horrified]
