Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.
A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!
If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.
Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.
A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.
Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.
Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.
To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.
If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.
If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.
The reason people blame things on previous generations is that there's only one other choice.
More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.
Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.
Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.
The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.
A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.
The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment.
A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.
Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.
