Death Proof Quotes

Waitress at Guero's: Okay! Warren is sending over shots... And you know the house rule: if he sends over shots, you gotta do them!
Arlene: Why?
Jungle Julia: Hey! There is the rule baby: Warren says it, we do it!
Warren the Bartender: I love that philosophy: Warren says it, we do it! So let's do it!

Arlene: What is it?
Warren the Bartender: Hey! Shot first, questions later. Here we go, post-time! Hum!
Jungle Julia: Wouhou!
Warren the Bartender: Is that a tasty beverage or is that a tasty be-ve-rage?
Arlene: What the fuck is it?
Warren the Bartender:

Chartreuse! The only liquor so good they named a color after it!

Jasper: Why's she dressed like that?
Abernathy: Well, you see, we're making a Hollywood movie in town, and it's a cheerleading movie and she's one of the cheerleaders.
Jasper: What's a cheerleader movie?
Abernathy: A movie about cheerleaders.
Jasper: Is it a porno movie?

Abernathy: Yes, it is, but don't mention it. She's shy.

Dov: So is it Shawna and the girls at lake house this weekend?
Shanna: Shawna?
Dov: Awww fuck, I didn...
Shanna: No. Now there is one thing every girl in the whole world whose name is Shanna has in common with each other - we all hate the name Shawna. And we really hate when people call us Shawna. Remember

it's Shanna banana not Shawna banawna.

Pam: So what's your name Icy?
Stuntman Mike: Stuntman Mike.
Pam: Stuntman Mike's your name?
Stuntman Mike: You ask anybody.
Pam: Hey Warren. Who is this guy?
Warren the Bartender: Stuntman Mike.
Pam: And who the hell is Stuntman Mike?

Warren the Bartender: He's a stuntman.

Dov: [making fun of Stuntman Mike] Dude, check it out. I wonder if BJ brought the bear with him.
Omar: [laughing] Jesus.
Dov: [singing] East bound and down...
[they laugh]
Dov: [noticing his scar] Dude fucking cut himself falling out of his time machine.
[they laugh some more]

Dov: [to bartender] Hi, could I get a chicken suit for "Stroker Ace", please?

Shanna: [Shanna and her girlfriends are in a car] Remember: no hookin' up tonight. You can hang with 'em, you can make out with 'em, but no hookin' up with 'em, because we are driving to Lake LBJ tonight, and my daddy's pretty clear on one thing. He said "Ah am lettin' you and your GIRLFRIENDS stay at my lake-house. Not you and some horny boys tryin' to get their fuck on with my

daughter."
Arlene: Your dad talks like that?
Shanna: Hell, yeah! And it's not like he ain't gonna know, either, because when I'm staying at the lake-house with my girlfriends in our bikinis, Daddy just has a tendency to pop up and make sure we don't need anything. Look, he's totally harmless and cute as a bug's ear! But you know, when he's got a

bunch of half-naked poontang walking the floor of his lake-house, he just likes to pay us a visit and make sure we got everything we need. And if you flirt shamelessly with him, like the 6-foot baby giraffe in the back-seat, you got a puppy-dog for life.

Zoë: So let's hear it ladies. Set romances, who's gettin' it off?
Kim: That would be Lee and Toolbox.
Zoë: Oh, Toolbox. Name sounds promising.
Abernathy: He's a grip.
Lee: What he is, is a pervert.
Zoë: Wow, he just keeps sounding better and better. What's his

perversion?
Lee: He likes to watch me pee.
Kim: Lee is sittin' on a toilet and Toolbox is watching her pee, P-I-S-S-I-N-G. Haha! Yeah, but not anymore, now she's getting it on with the rock.
Zoë: You're having one off with The Rock?
Lee: Yeah, but not the real Rock. He's this electrician named Bruce,

and Kim started calling him The Rock because he looks like The Rock, so we all just started calling him the Rock.
Kim: Oh yeah, this is an all star crew, we got a guy that looks like Nick Cage, and a guy that looks like Pee Wee Herman too.
Zoë: Kim, dick department, let's hear it!
Kim: No dick this trip. I got a man.

Zoë: How long have you had this boyfriend for?
Kim: Three months.
Zoë: Who'd you steal him from?
Abernathy: Kim, he totally had a girlfriend.
Zoë: All of Kim's boyfriends start out as someone else's boyfriend.
Kim: I didn't steal him, I didn't steal any of

them, they all just... jumped ship.

Dov: Dude, as long as a guy's buyin' the booze, a fuckin' bitch'll drink anything. C'mon, we can at least get one shot of Jager down these fucking bitches' throats. After that, we'll see if they get another Jager shot in them. You never know. That could be the shot that puts them past the point of "fuck it."
Omar: Then all of a sudden "no guys at the lake

house" turns into a couple of guys at the lake house.
Dov: My point exactly. And I know I can at least get Shanna "Suck My" Banana to do a fucking Buttery Nipple shot. What's Julia's sweet shot?
Omar: ...Key Lime Pie.
Dov: Oh come on dude, even fucking Leroy Brown would do one more for dessert.

Jungle Julia: Okay, we're pretty clear on what it is you didn't do. How bout' enlightening us on what it is you did do?
Arlene: Nothing to write home about. We just made out on the couch for about twenty minutes.
Shanna: Dressed, half dressed, or naked?
Arlene: Dressed! I said we made out. We didn't do "the

thing".
Jungle Julia: Excuse me for living, but what is "the thing"?
Arlene: You know, it's everything but.
Shanna: They call that "the thing"?
Arlene: I call it "the thing".
Shanna: Do guys like "the thing"?
Arlene: They like it better than no thing.

Abernathy: Listen to this, the Circle A clerk has this month's issue of Italian Vogue.
Lee: No way!
Abernathy: Way.
Lee: I can't belive a fucking Circle A clerk carries Italian Vogue.
Abernathy: It doesn't. It's his own personal copy. He'll let it go for 27 bucks.

Lee: [scoffs] 27 bucks?
Abernathy: What the fuck do you care? We're talking about fucking per diem here. We found an issue of Italian Vogue in Lebanon, Tennessee. We're lucky he's not asking for fuckin' Krugerrands. I'm getting it, and we're splitting it three ways.
Lee: What? Me, you, and Kim?
Abernathy: No.

Kim doesn't give a shit about Italian Vogue. But Brandy will come in with us, and if she won't, Tyson, her assistant, will.
Lee: Okay, but if anyone tears out any sheets that I want, you gotta make color Xerox copies of those pages, and I'm not talkin' fuckin' Kinko's here either. You take it to the art department and have them do it fucking right.