I'm a dummy from New Jersey.
In 2002, I was taking an improv class because, as a white male with glasses who was born between 1978 and 1994, it's legally required that I take at least one improv class in my life.
No one in New York hangs out in their apartments.
If you are dating someone in New York City, and they invite you over to watch a movie, they don't really want to watch a movie.
I don't think I'm ugly per se, but on bad days, I have been told that I look like the monster from 'The Hills Have Eyes.' That was extremely confidence-shattering, so I try to take care of myself.
I'm not exactly Don Draper when it comes to physical attractiveness.
I do not like confrontations in New York City.
Anyone who lives in N.Y.C. will tell you that getting into a confrontation on a city street is a complete nightmare 100 percent of the time.
Anyone who's ever been around an emergency in Manhattan realizes that there are plainclothes officers on these streets walking past us more than we ever realize.
Cops in New York City don't have the best reputation. It's a fast-paced city, and they deal with a lot, and many people have seen lots of cops interact with the public utilizing what can be gently called 'not the best customer service.'
I think Carmen Christopher is going to be massively huge. He's just too funny. He's got funny in his bones, and he wants to conquer every room.
I remember the people who mentored me, and I just love being able to do that for other people.
I just really remember the feeling of being a younger comedian who was kind of an outlier for being experimental and weird and how that could feel lonely or hopeless.
I think so often about how, when I was starting out at UCB, Conan O'Brien was in town, and on his show back then, they sometimes did character bits, and I started getting paid to dress up as a page or a Dutch boy on his show.
Cops are everywhere in New York City. Cars drive by every few minutes. Uniforms stand nonchalantly at street corners.
I think the key to improv is always listening. It's embracing. It's positivity. It's hearing things and not shutting them down.
New Yorkers will be rude, but at least they do so out of the rationale that everyone around them is always slowing them down. Los Angeles, I learned, is a city full of people who have the personality of the coolest pretty boy from your eighth-grade class.
Sometimes I get gigs in weird, artsy places because weird, artsy people embraced my public-access show, which I could only have done in the way I did in New York.
No aspect of my brief and mild fame actually made me happier.
I take medications every morning and night - they're my breakfast, and they're my dessert. I love them.
