Dirk: Yeah, well this is imported Italian nylon.
Rahad Jackson: Oh, that's Cosmo... he's Chinese.
Jack Horner: You know this is the film I want them to remember me by.
Dirk: You know, I'm gonna be a great big bright, shining star.
Rollergirl: [to Amber in a documentary about Dirk] He can fuck really hard or he can fuck really gently. He's the best.
Buck Swope: [to his pregnant wife] How's my little kung fu fighter?
Jessie St. Vincent: He's kicking ass inside my stomach.
Reed Rothchild: [as Chest Rockwell] Let's get some of that Saturday night beaver.
Reed Rothchild: Nobody fucks with Chest and Brock!
Little Bill: [while shooting a scene, Dirk ejaculated inside Amber] We missed the cum shot. He came inside her. Maybe we could go to stock footage, or...
Jack Horner: Are you crazy? It won't match!
Dirk: Jack? I can do it again if you need a closeup.
Jack Horner: He's my 17-year-old piece of gold.
Dirk: [standing in the kitchen at work with Jack] So, you want five or ten?
Jack Horner: What?
Dirk: Well, if you just wanna see me jack off, it's ten. But if you just wanna look at it, it's only five.
[his one word prediction for the future of the porn industry]
Floyd Gondolli: Videotape.
Rahad Jackson: You want somethin' to drink? A little pill, a little coke, a little dope? I got everything!
Jack Horner: The story sucks them in.
Joe: [as Dirk is in his truck and trying to rub his penis to get an erection] Come on!
Dirk: [Dirk stops] I can't! I can't get it hard, right? I can't. I'm sorry!
[another truck suddenly pulls up with a group of guys]
Joe: You just shouldn't do this sort of thing, you faggot!
[punches Dirk]
Maurice: I'm the ultimate Latin Lover. There ain't no Latin Lover like me.
Little Bill's wife: Don't stop, Big Stud!
