Beetlejuice: [after kicking down a model tree] Nice fuckin' model!
Adam: You can see us without the sheets?
Lydia: Of course I can see you.
Adam: Well, how is it you see us and nobody else can?
Lydia: Well, I've read through that handbook for the recently deceased. It says: 'live people ignore the strange and unusual". I myself am strange and unusual.
Barbara: You look like a regular girl to me.
Lydia: Mr. and Mrs. Maitland? Hello? Where are you?
Beetlejuice: Dead. Dead, dead, deadski.
Lydia: Of course they're dead. They're ghosts.
Beetlejuice: No, I mean they're gone, split, out of here, afterlife kids, deceased...
Lydia: Are you a ghost, too?
Beetlejuice: I'm a ghost with the most, babe.
[why he can't tell Lydia his name]
Beetlejuice: Because if I tell you, you'll tell your friends, your friends are callin' me on the horn all the time, I gotta show up at shopping centers for openings and sign autographs and shit like that and it makes my life a *hell*. Okay? A living hell.
Very Dumb Football Player: [the football players have re-entered Juno's office] Coach?
Juno: What?
Very Dumb Football Player: [looking disturbed] I don't think we survived that crash.
Juno: [sarcastically] How did you guess?
Beetlejuice: [after Lydia says his name three times] It's showtime!
Bernard: Otho, I didn't realize you were into the supernatural.
Otho: Well, of course! You remember, after my stint with the Living Theatre I was one of New York City's leading paranormal researchers until the bottom dropped out in '72.
Beryl: [cynically] Paranormal - is that what they're calling your kind these days?
Otho: Don't mind her. She's still upset because somebody dropped a house on her sister.
Adam: You've read our book?
Lydia: Yeah.
Adam: You can follow it?
Lydia: Yeah. Why were you guys creeping around in Delia's bedroom?
Adam: We were trying to scare your mother.
Lydia: Stepmother. Anyway, you can't scare her. She's sleeping with Prince Valium
tonight.
Dumb Football Player: Coach. Coach, where's the men's room?
Juno: I'm not your coach! He survived!
Very Dumb Football Player: Wait, Coach, let me get something straight. What's our curfew around here?
Juno: Will you get out of here! Go on, get downstairs! "'Men's room!" Are you kidding? Can't you read signs?
Beetlejuice: [Trying to get Lydia to guess his name, he makes a beetle appear] Hi! How are ya' ?
Lydia: [Gasps] Ah, B-Beetle!
Beetlejuice: Yes! Now for part two...
Lydia: [Conjures a glass of orange juice that pours into a glass] Beetle... Breakfast... Orange... Liquid... Beetle Juice?
Beetlejuice: Yes! You said it!
Lydia: Your name's "Beetle Juice"?
Beetlejuice: You said it two times, come on. Say it one more time!
Lydia: It was you.
Beetlejuice: Me?
Lydia: The snake.
Beetlejuice: No, what snake? You kids and your
imaginations... Look, just say it!
Lydia: No... I want to talk to Barbara.
Beetlejuice: No, you don't need to talk to Barbara. JUST SAY IT!
Beetlejuice: I'm feeling a little, ooh, anxious if you know what I mean. It's been about six hundred years after all. I wonder where a guy, an everyday Joe like myself, can find a little action...
[a brothel appears]
Beetlejuice: [dances with joy] Hey, Adam, nice move!
Barbara: Adam, why did you build that?
Adam: I didn't!
[Adam and Barbara appear at Juno's office]
Juno: The whorehouse was my idea! I want you to get Beetlejuice out of the picture!