Batman Forever Quotes

Two-Face: [He cries on seeing a newspaper report of Batman's latest escape]
The Riddler: That's what I said. Then I taught my doggie a new trick: how to map the human mind. Would you like to see what our old friend Bruce Wayne has in his head?
The Riddler: [he plugs in the disk with Bruce Wayne's memory; on the screen they see the

image of the giant bat. Two-Face starts laughing] Riddle me this, what sort of a man has bats on the brain? Go ahead, you can say it.
Two-Face: You're a genius!
The Riddler: Oh, stop!

Batman: Commissioner Gordon?
Dr. Chase Meridian: He's at home. I sent the signal.
Batman: What's wrong?
Dr. Chase Meridian: Last night at the bank I noticed something about Two-Face. His coin. It's his Achilles' heel. It can be exploited.
Batman: I know. You called me here for this? The

Batsignal is not a beeper.
Dr. Chase Meridian: Well I wish I could say that my interest in you was... purely professional.
Batman: You trying to get under my cape, doctor?
Dr. Chase Meridian: A girl can't live by psychoses alone.
Batman: It's the car, right? Chicks love the car.
Dr. Chase

Meridian: [laughs] What is it about the wrong kind of man? In grade school it was boys with earrings, high school; motorcycles; college, leather jackets. Now...
Dr. Chase Meridian: [feels his suit] Ahhh. Black rubber.
Batman: Try firemen, less to take off.
Dr. Chase Meridian: [Batman hastens away but she follows him]

I don't mind the work. Pity I can't see behind the mask.
Batman: We all wear masks.
Dr. Chase Meridian: My life's an open book. You read?
Batman: I don't blend in at a family picnic.
Dr. Chase Meridian: Oh, we could give it a try. I'll bring the wine, you bring your scarred psyche.

Batman: [Chase removes her coat, revealing a sexy black dress] Direct, aren't you?
Dr. Chase Meridian: You like strong women. I've done my homework. Or do I need skin-tight vinyl and a whip?
Batman: I haven't had that much luck with women.
Dr. Chase Meridian: Maybe you just haven't met the right woman.

[they are about to kiss, but are suddenly interrupted by Gordon's arrival]

[Dick tries to open a door in Wayne Manor, but it won't budge]
Alfred Pennyworth: May I help you, Master Grayson?
Dick Grayson: How come this is the only locked door in this museum? What've you got back here?
Alfred Pennyworth: Master Wayne's dead wives.
[Dick gives him a look]
Alfred Pennyworth:

The silver closet. On your way.

The Riddler: Hey Two-Face, show me how to punch a guy!
Two-Face: Oh, it's dead simple, my boy.
Two-Face: [demonstrates] Ball up the fist, reach way back, and assert yourself.
[knocks guard out with one punch]
The Riddler: Ohhhh, that looks like fun! Let me try! Let me try! Ball up the fist, reach way

back, and assert your...
[hits guard with no effect and holds his hand in agony]
The Riddler: OW!

Bruce Wayne: Just what the hell do you think you were doing?
Dick Grayson: You got a real graditiude problem, you know that Bruce? I need a name, Batboy? Nightwing? I don't know, help me out, what's a good side-kick name?
Bruce Wayne: How about: Dick Grayson; College Student.
Dick Grayson: Screw you. I just

saved your life. You owe me.
Bruce Wayne: You were totally out of control, you're gonna get yourself killed.
Dick Grayson: You're looking at a new partner.
Bruce Wayne: [Aggravated] No!
Dick Grayson: Bruce. whenever you go out at night, I'll be watching. And wherever Batman goes, I'm gonna be right

beside him. I mean, how you gonna stop me?
Bruce Wayne: [Stands up] I can stop you.
Dick Grayson: [Hands Alfred his costume] Al. Put this next to the Bat suit, where it belongs.

Alfred Pennyworth: Master Bruce. Master Bruce. How are you, young man?
Bruce Wayne: You haven't called me that for a long time.
Alfred Pennyworth: Old habits die hard. Are you all right?
Bruce Wayne: Where's Chase?
Alfred Pennyworth: I'm afraid they've taken Dr. Meridian. Master Dick

has run away. The cave has been destroyed. And there's another riddle.

The Riddler: [turns on the other Boxes for Sugar and Spice, then shows him his Box wand] This is how I found you. Let me demonstrate.
The Riddler: [puts the wand on Two-Face's head] This is your brain on the Box.
The Riddler: [takes the wand off of Two-Face's head] This is my brain on the Box.
The Riddler:

[puts the wand on his own head] Does anybody else feel like a fried egg?
Two-Face: We'll have a bit more, thank you.
The Riddler: Oh, there's more. But only the first one's free. Here's the bargain: you will help me steal production capital, so I can put a Box on every TV in town. So I can become Gotham's cleverest carbon-based life-form! And in

return... is everybody paying attention? I will help you solve the greatest riddle of all... the mother of all riddles: "Who is Batman?"

The Riddler: [after being defeated] Why? Why can't I kill you? Too many questions. Too many questions.
Batman: Poor Edward. I had to save them both. You see, I'm both Bruce Wayne and Batman. Not because I have to be. Now... because I choose to be.
The Riddler: [Batman holds out his hand, as he backs away as he sees a bat] AAAAHHH!

AHHHHGH! AAAAGH!

Two-Face: What?
The Riddler: I hope you made extra.
Two-Face: Who the hell are you?
The Riddler: Just a friend. But you can call me... the Riddler.
Two-Face: [grabs Riddler by the collar] We'll call you dead, more likely! How did you find us here?
The Riddler:

But then if I talked, what would keep you from killing me anyway, O Bifurcated One?
The Riddler: [looks at Two-Face's disfigurement] By the way, that's never gonna heal if you don't stop picking.
Two-Face: Oh?
Two-Face: [puts pistol to Riddler's head] Let's see if you bleed green!
The Riddler: Harvey! I

don't think it's me you really want to kill. That'd be too easy for someone as sophisticated as you... and you. But Batman...
The Riddler: [gasps] Now, there's a challenge! Kill the Bat! Sounds like a good idea!
The Riddler: [Two-Face feigns modesty] Just think of it, a few bullets hit home, a quick splash of blood, and then what? Wet hands...

post-homicidal depression.
The Riddler: [whimpers] I can help you get Batman.
The Riddler: [looks at Two-Face's pistol] That is if you'll spare my life for just a few moments.
Two-Face: [cocks his head in amusment and puts his gun away] Heh...
The Riddler: Thank you.