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Freck: [twitching horribly] Okay, if you guys are gonna kill eac hother, I'm s-splitting! It's getting very fucked up over here!
Fred: Freck, the most dangerous kind of person is the one who's afraid of his own shadow.
Freck: What is that supposed to mean?
Barris: It means, Freckles, that if you take too much

of that stuff, not only are you going to start seeing and feeling buggy bugs all over yourself but you're also gonna start talking like...
[makes quacking sounds]
Barris: And no one can understand you.
Fred: What did you say, Barris? I didn't understand you.
[Barris softly quacks to Fred and then louder at Freck]

Freck: You guys are fucked up!
Barris: [imitating Frecks in a raspy twitching voice] Oh no. It is you ga ga goo that are fuck upted up!
[Freck leaves and Luckman throws a rock to the ground]
Luckman: Go Freck yourself!
Barris: [in a high pitched voice] "Don't take the car, you'll kill yourselves! Ye

gogh gogh gogh gogh!"

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Barris: You are constitutionally incapable of not shuttingthefuckup!
Luckman: Bring it!
Barris: Shutthefuckup!

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Fred: I'd say Arctor is doomed if he's up to something. And I have a hunch from what you're saying that he is.

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Barris: YOU are a bug bite squared.
Luckman: What kind of bug?
Barris: 'Bout to get fucked up bitch beetle.

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Fred: So there is no sheep here, is there?
[pause]
Fred: Was I close?

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[first lines]
Freck: [on the phone] I looked them up. They're aphids. They're in my hair, on my skin, in my lungs. And the pain, Barris, it's unreasonable. They're all over the place. Oh, they've completely gotten Millie too.

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Luckman: This proves you got somebody out to get you real bad Bob. I just hope that the house is still there when you get back.
Fred: Yeah I didn't think of that.
Barris: I wouldn't worry about it too much.
Luckman: You wouldn't! Christ! They may have broken in and ripped off all we got. All Bob's got anyhow.

What if they stomp the animals?
Barris: Don't worry about it. I left a little surprise for 'em.
Fred: What?
Barris: Yes. Anyone entering the house while we were gone today will receive a little surprise. A little something I perfected earlier this morning.
Fred: What kind of surprise? It's my house Jim,

you should ask me before you start wiring up my house.
Barris: Why would you get so uptight about protecting your house from intruders? Why would you care?
Fred: I'm just saying it's my house, that's all. You can't start going around booby trapping my house.
Barris: Okay, okay! I mean jeez. Or as the Germans would say "leise"

which translates to "be cool". Just be cool.

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Luckman: Well! So much for our great trip to San Diego Bob, I told you we should have gone to San Francisco.
Barris: What like going to San Francisco would not have caused this problem with the engine?
Luckman: Yeah because when you're going north, it screws this way, and when you're going south it screws that way!

Barris: If we were in Australia!

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Fred: I'm not going to tell you first what I do as undercover officer engaged in tracking down dealers and the source of their illegal drugs in the streets of our cities and the corridors of our schools here in Orange County. I'm going to tell you what I'm afraid of.

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Street Prophet: Man was not meant to live like this!
[Beaten down by cops and bundled into a van]

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Medical Officer #1: Don't worry, we can take care of this loser.
Donna: It's easy to win.

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End Captions: The Enemy was their mistake in playing.

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Donna: Hey you guys.
Donna: [screams when Luckman and Barris pull out their weapons at her] Fuck! Jesus!
[they lower their weapons]
Donna: What the fuck is wrong with you? I came in like the note said. It doesn't say when you were gonna get back, so I just, just sat around for a while, and ended up crashing.

Luckman: Love your sweater.
Donna: Just don't touch me! Man you guys were making so much noise. Woke me up.

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Barris: I could be mur... dered.

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Barris: This is a world getting progressively worse. Can we not agree on that?
Barris: [turns to waitress] What's on the dessert menu?

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Barris: If I'd known it was harmless...
Luckman, Fred, Barris: [together] I would have killed it myself!

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Luckman: You are a MONSTER!
Barris: You're... a billy goat.

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Barris: I think I know, they were probably working on it, these Gypsy grifters with improper tools, no technical knowledge, no understanding of reverse engineering, and when they attempted to reassemble it they panicked, they got scared, and they left nine orphan gears there just laying on the floor, theyre probably still there on the floor of the garage.

Luckman: Lets just go rescue the orphan gears dude!

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Luckman: I'm going to knock your nads up into your nostrils.
[to Barris, as they circle each other, shaping up to fight]

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Interdimensional Being: Your sins will be read to you ceaselessly. It will take for all eternity. The list will never end.