Summer: I named my cat after Springsteen.
Tom: No kidding. What was his name?
Summer: Bruce.
Tom: Oh... That makes sense.
Summer: There's no such thing as love, it's fantasy...
Tom: Paul, seriously...
Paul: Did you bang her?
Tom: No.
Paul: What, hum job? Hand job?
Tom: Man, no. No jobs. I'm still unemployed. We - we kissed.
McKenzie: Love... shit, I don't know. As long as she's cute and she's willing, right?
[Turns serious]
McKenzie: I'm flexible on the cute.
Narrator: For Tom Hansen, this was the night where everything changed. That wall Summer so often hid behind - the wall of distance, of space, of casual - that wall was slowly coming down. For here was Tom, in her world... a place few had been invited to see with their own eyes. And here was Summer, wanting him there. Him, no one else.
Rachel Hansen: You know, my friends are all in love with you. You know, it's like we said. Plenty of other fish in the sea.
Tom: [Looks at a group of twelve year old girls who wave at him and giggle] Thanks. But, uh, those are guppies.
Rachel Hansen: [Chuckles] Yeah.
Narrator: Tom walked to her apartment, intoxicated by the promise of the evening. He believed that this time his expectations would align with reality...
Rachel Hansen: PMS?
Tom: What do you know about PMS?
Rachel Hansen: More than you, Tom.
Tom: This is lies. We are liars. Think about it. Why do people buy cards? It's not because they want to say how they feel. People buy cards because they can't say they feel or are afraid to. And we provide the service that let's them off the hook. You know what? I say to hell with it. Let's level with America. Or at least let them speak for themselves. Right?
Vance: [talking to camera] I've been happily married for 30 years. She's the light that guides me home.
[pause]
Vance: Yes, it is from one of our cards.
[pause]
Vance: No, someone else wrote it. Doesn't make it less true.
McKenzie: Hey, maybe you should write a book.
Tom: What?
McKenzie: Well, you know, Henry Miller said the best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature.
Tom: That guy had a lot more sex than me.
Summer: You guys need anything?
Tom: [provocatively] Oh, I think you know what I need.
Summer: [looks at Tom, quizzically]
Tom: [quietly] Some toner.
Summer: I like being on my own. Relationships are messy and people's feelings get hurt. Who needs it? We're young. We live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. Might as well have fun while we can and save the serious stuff for later.
Tom: You know what sucks? Realizing that everything you believe in is complete and utter bullshit. It sucks.
Summer: What do you mean?
Tom: Uh, you know. Destiny, and soul mates, and true love. And all that childhood fairytale nonsense. You were right. I should have listened to you.
Tom: Hey, Summer.
Summer: Hi.
Tom: How was your weekend?
Summer: It was *good*.
Tom: People buy cards 'cause they can't say how they feel, or they're afraid to. We provide the service that lets them off the hook.
