As Good as It Gets
As Good as It Gets

Simon Bishop: What are those cards?
Jackie: Frank's idea. He thought I should have notes so I did this right: maintained focus, didn't get emotional, and tried not to terrify you.
[Simon's eyes widen]
Jackie: See, he's right. I need the cards.
[takes a card]
Jackie: [reading] Simon, you're broke.


[takes another card]
Jackie: [reading] The medical bills are 61 thousand now. And the show didn't go well.
[takes a third card, which reads "CONVINCE HIM TO ASK HIS PARENTS FOR HELP"]
Jackie: I've spoken to your parents. They didn't hang up or anything. But they said they would feel strange calling you.
Simon

Bishop: I can't call them.
[notices Verdell on the terrace, staring into space]
Simon Bishop: Come here, baby. Come here, baby. Verdell? What's wrong? You miss the tough guy?
[imitating Melvin]
Simon Bishop: Well, here I am, sweetheart! Happy to see me, you little piss-ant mop? How about another ride down the chute?
[as

himself]
Simon Bishop: God, I'm sorry, I did not mean that. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Jackie: Simon...
Simon Bishop: I didn't mean that, sweetheart. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
[to Jackie]
Simon Bishop: I'll be able to keep my apartment and the studio, won't I?
[Jackie looks at Simon, then reaches

for another card]
Simon Bishop: Oh my God...

Commando
Commando

Bennett: I really love listening to your little piss-ant soldiers trying to talk tough. They make me laugh. If Matrix was here, he'd laugh too.

Blazing Saddles
Blazing Saddles

Jim: Well, it got so that every piss-ant prairie punk who thought he could shoot a gun would ride into town to try out the Waco Kid. I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille. It got pretty gritty. I started to hear the word "draw" in my sleep. Then one day, I was just walking down the street when I heard a voice behind me say, "Reach for it, mister!" I spun around... and

there I was, face to face with a six-year old kid. Well, I just threw my guns down and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass. So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey bottle... and I've been there ever since.