Jimmy Piersall
Jimmy Piersall

I asked my doctor how many more years I have left and he said, 'You're too ornery to die.'

The Waterboy
The Waterboy

Bobby Boucher: My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.

The Waterboy
The Waterboy

Mama Boucher: You gonna lose all your fancy "fools' balls" games! And your gonna fail your big exam! Because school is...
Bobby Boucher: The devil?
[Mama gasps]
Bobby Boucher: Everything is the devil to you, Mama! Well, I like school, and I like football! And I'm gonna keep doin' them both because they make me feel good!

Bobby Boucher: [Bobby runs out, slamming the door, then comes back in] And by the way, Mama. "Alligators" are ornery 'cause of their "Medula Oblongata"!
Bobby Boucher: [Bobby runs back out, then back in again] And I like Vicki, and she like me back! And she showed me her boobies and I like them too!
[slams door on Mama]

The Waterboy
The Waterboy

Professor: Now, is there anyone here that can tell me why... most alligators are abnormally aggressive? Anybody? Anyone? Yes, sir. You, sir.
Bobby Boucher: Mama says that alligators are ornery... 'cause they got all them teeth but no toothbrush.
Professor: [Chuckling] Yo mama said, alligators are ornery 'cause they got all them

teeth... and no toothbrush. Wow! Anybody else? Yes, sir. You, sir.
Student: Alligators are aggressive because of an enlarged medulla oblongata. It's the sector of the brain which controls aggressive behavior.
Professor: That is correct! The medulla oblongata...
Bobby Boucher: But Mama said...
Professor:

The medulla oblongata... is where anger, jealousy and aggression come from. Now, is there anybody here can tell me where happiness comes from? Anyone? All right, let's hear what Mama has to say on the subject.
Bobby Boucher: Mama say that happiness is from magic rays of sunshine that come down when you feelin' blue.
Professor: [Chuckling] Well,

folks, Mama's wrong again.
Bobby Boucher: No, Colonel Sanders, you're wrong. Mama's right. You're all wrong. Mama's right. Mama's right!
Professor: Somethin' wrong with his medulla oblongata.