Jeremy Grey: [Feeling relieved after having been masturbated by Gloria and ejaculated under the dinner table] Terrific, it was terrific
Sarah Marshall: Remember how we thought the killer masturbated before commiting his crimes?
Detective Hunter Rush: Yes?
Sarah Marshall: Take a look...
Detective Hunter Rush: ...Looks like where he's going he'll need to know how to masturbate.
Cindy Campbell: Look, if it's about that time I puked green slime and masturbated with a crucifix, it was my first keg party, Bobby!
Don Jon: Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been one week since my last confession. Since last Sunday I had sexual relations out of wedlock two times. I also watched pornographic videos and masturbated seventeen times. For these, and all the sins in my life, I am sorry.