Wont Quotes

Mia: Vincent, do you still want to hear my Fox Force Five joke? Vincent: Sure, but I think I'm still a little too petrified to laugh. Mia: No, you wont laugh, 'cus it's not funny. But if you still wanna hear it, I'll tell it. Vincent: I can't wait. Mia: Three tomatoes are walking down the street- a poppa

tomato, a momma tomato, and a little baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Poppa tomato gets angry, goes over to the baby tomato, and smooshes him... and says, Catch up.

Alfred Borden: He's progressive, he's predictable, he's boring. I mean, Milton's got success, whatever that means, and now he's scared, he won't take any risks at all. I mean, he's squandering the goodwill of the audience with these tired, second-rate tricks...
Robert Angier: They're all favorites, please...
Alfred Borden: Favorites?

Come on, give me something fresh, he wont even try a bloody bullet catch!
Cutter: A bullet catch is suicide, all it takes is some smart-ass volunteer to put a button in the barrel...
Alfred Borden: Fine, use a plant!
Robert Angier: You can't use plants for every trick!
Julia McCullough: There'll be no

seats left for the punters!
[laughs]
Alfred Borden: Fine, no bullet catch, whatever, but the point is... a real magician tries to invent something new, that other magicians are gonna scratch their heads over, you know?
Cutter: Right, then you sell it to him for a small fortune?
Alfred Borden: All right...

Cutter: I suppose you have such a trick?
Alfred Borden: Actually, I do.

Monica: Hi.
Chandler: You are not gonna believe what I did today.
Monica: Well, clearly you didn't shower or shave.
Chandler: I got good. I played this game all day and now I rule. They should change the name to Ms. Chandler.
[pause]
Chandler: Although, I hope they don't.

Monica: Wait a minute, you staid home all day playing Ms. Pacman, while I was at work like some kind of chump?
Chandler: Yeah, and I got all the top ten scores and erased Phoebe off the board. High five!
Monica: What is the matter with your hand?
Chandler: Well, I've been playing for like eight hours. It'll

loosen up, come on check out the scores. Oh, and also look at the initials, their dirty words.
Monica: Chandler, why would you do that?
Chandler: Because it's awesome.
Monica: You think this is clever?
Chandler: Well, they only give you three letters, so after A.S.S., it is a bit of a challenge.

Monica: Wait a minute, this one's not dirty.
Chandler: Well, it is, when you put it together with that one.
Monica: Oh, well, if you don't clear this off, you wont be getting those from me. Ben's coming tomorrow over to play this game, this can't be there.
Chandler: Come on, he wont even know what they mean.

Monica: He's seven, not stupid.
Chandler: Have you talked to him lately?
Monica: All right, I'm just going to unplug it...
Chandler: No, no, no, if you'll unplug it, then there will be nothing to show from my day. It would be like I was at work!
[Monica unplugs it]

Chandler: Look at that, look at that, it's still there, this thing must have a primitive ROM chip!
Monica: You gotta beat your scores.
Chandler: With the claw?
Monica: Fine, I'll do it. We gotta get this off the screen. Carol and Susan are still upset that you taught him "Pull my finger".

Chandler: Pull my finger... my hand is messed up!

Brian: Now Hear this ! Blessed are they..
Brian: ..Who convert their neighbours asses
Brian: For they shall inhibit their girth
Centurion: Rubbish
Brian: And to them only shall be given
Brian: to them only..
Brian: shall be given...

Girl In Crowd: what ?
Brian: um ?
Girl In Crowd: shall be given what ?
Brian: Oh nothing.
Girl In Crowd: what were you going to say ?
Brian: Nothing.
Girl In Crowd: yes, you were going to say something ?
Brian: No, I finished.
Girl In Crowd: Oh no
Man in

crowd: Tell us before you go
Brian: I am finished.
Man in crowd: Why wont he tell ? A secret, is it ?
Brian: No
Man in crowd: Must be otherwise he'd tell us.
Brian: Leave me alone.