Smails Quotes

[Judge Smails is preparing to hit the ball on the first tee while Al Czervick watches]
Al Czervik: Hey 'Whitey,' where's your hat?
[Smails looks over at Czervick, who is watching anxiously]
Al Czervik: ...let's go while we're young!
Judge Smails: Mind Sir? Trying to tee off.
Al Czervik: ...I bet

ya slice into the woods! A hundred bucks!
Judge Smails: Gambling is illegal at Bushwood sir, and I never slice.
[the judge hits the ball, and it goes flying into some trees, in response, he shouts in frustration]
Al Czervik: Okay, you can owe me!
Judge Smails: [mad] I owe you nothing!

[Ty has just been asked by Al to partner up against Judge Smails in a $20,000-per-person golf match]
Judge Smails: Can I have a word with you? ln private?
Ty Webb: Sure thing, Judge.
Judge Smails: Listen, your father and I prepped together, went to war together, played golf together. We built this club, he and I. And let's

face it, some people simply do not *belong*. Let's not... cave in too easy. What do you say, Ty?
[Smails and Ty start to laugh]
Ty Webb: Let's make it $40,000.
Al Czervik: Hey, great!
Ty Webb: [to a glaring Smails] You know, Judge, my dad... never liked you.

Danny Noonan: [trying to make small talk with Chuck after Smails has introduced them] Well, I'm going to college too.
Chuck Schick: [haughtily] Really... are you going to Harvard?
Danny Noonan: No, St. Copius of northern...
Chuck Schick: Where?
Lacey Underall: [walking up with Terry, at

Danny] Hey Cary Grant... you wanna get high?
Terry the Hippie: Wait a minute! I only got a little!
Lacey Underall: Then split, OK Terry?
Terry the Hippie: [leaving] Sure.
Lacey Underall: [to Chuck] Bye, Chuck!
[she and Danny grimace towards him, he leaves]
Danny Noonan:

Guess I'm a little overdressed?
Lacey Underall: Depends on what's underneath... come on.

[Danny walks inside Judge Smails' office, where Smails is seated around, and has a seat, awaiting his disciplinary action for his involvement with Lacey]
Danny Noonan: Judge Smails, sir?
Judge Smails: [not realizing Danny's already seated] Sit down, Danny.
[turns around in his chair, slightly hitting his desk; Both Danny and Smails tries to

see their faces]
Judge Smails: Danny, I think you know why you are here, so I'll... do us both the courtesy of not reviewing what happened yesterday...
[angrily shoves the lamp to the side, but calms down]
Judge Smails: Sorry. My niece is the kind of girl who has a certain... zest of living. The last thing any of us need right now is a lot of

loose talk about her behavior.
Danny Noonan: I swear, I didn't tell anybody anything, sir.
Judge Smails: [relief sigh] Good. Good, good.
[stands up]
Judge Smails: You know, despite what happened, I-I'm still convinced you have many fine qualities and I... I think you can still become a gentleman some day if you

understand and abide by the rules of decent society.
[pats Danny on his shoulder]
Judge Smails: Danny, Danny, there's a lot of, uh, well, badness in the world today. I see it in court today. I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't wanna do it, but felt I owed it to them. The most important decision you can make right now is what do you stand

for, Danny? Goodness... or badness?
Danny Noonan: I know I make some bad mistakes in the past. I'm willing to make up for that. I wanna be good.
Judge Smails: Good. Good, very good. You know, I... I know how hard it is for young people today and I wanna help. Well, just ask my grandson, Spaulding. He and I are regular pals. Are you my pal, Mr.

scholarship winner?
Danny Noonan: [shakes Smails' hand] Yes, sir. I'm your pal.
Judge Smails: [chuckles] How 'bout a Fresca?