Hedley Quotes

Taggart: What do you want me to do, sir?
Hedley Lamarr: I want you to round up every vicious criminal and gunslinger in the west. Take this down.
[Taggart looks for a pen and paper while Hedley talks]
Hedley Lamarr: I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits,

dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists.
Taggart: [finding pen and paper] Could you repeat that, sir?

Hedley Lamarr: Repeat after me: I...
Men: I...
Hedley Lamarr: ...your name...
Men: ...your name...
Hedley Lamarr: [to himself] Shmucks.
[continues aloud]
Hedley Lamarr: ...pledge allegiance...
Men: ...pledge allegiance...
Hedley Lamarr: ...to Hedley Lamarr...

Men: ...to Hedy Lamarr...
Hedley Lamarr: That's *Hedley*!
Men: That's Hedley!
Hedley Lamarr: ...and to the evil...
Men: ...and to the evil...
Hedley Lamarr: ...for which he stands.
Men: ...for which he stands.
Hedley Lamarr: Now go do... that voodoo... that *you* do... *so

well*...!
[men shoot at the sky in joy and ride off]

Hedley Lamarr: As per your instructions, I'd like you to meet the new sheriff of Rock Ridge.
Governor Lepetomane: I'd be delighted.
[extends his hand, then yanks it away on seeing Bart]
Governor Lepetomane: Wow!
[whistles, then drops his voice]
Governor Lepetomane: I gotta talk to you. Come here.

[grabs Bart and pulls him aside]
Governor Lepetomane: Have you gone berserk? Can't you see that man is a ni...
[turns and sees Bart]
Governor Lepetomane: Ha ha... wrong person. Forgive me. No offense intended.
[walks Bart back, then pulls Hedley aside]
Governor Lepetomane: Have you gone berserk? Can't you

see that man is a ni?