Superbad
Superbad

Seth: When I was a little kid, I kinda had this problem. And it's not even that big of a deal, something like 8 percent of kids do it. For some reason, I don't know why. I would just kinda... sit around all day... and draw pictures of dicks.
Evan: What?
Seth: Draw pictures of dicks.
Evan: Dicks? Like a man

dick?
Seth: Yes. Like a man dick.
[while you see Seth when he was a kid]
Seth: I'd just sit there hours on end drawing dicks. I didn't know what it was. I couldn't touch the pen to the paper without drawing the shape of a penis.
Evan: That's fucked.
Seth: No shit. It's really fucked up. Here I

am. A little kid. And I can't stop drawing dicks to save my own life.
[you see the kid Seth draw a lot of different dicks on different sheets of paper and see a gallery of his drawings one by one]
Evan: Alright, I mean... I just don't see what this has to do with Becca.
Seth: Just listen. Okay?
[you see the kid Seth in a classroom]

Seth: Your precious little Becca sat next to me for all of fourth grade. And in the classroom was where I did the majority of my illustrations. I was very secretive about this whole dick operation. Even I thought I was fucking crazy. Imagine what everyone else would think? So I would stash all my dick drawings in this Ghostbusters lunchbox that I had. So one day, I'm finishing

up this real big, veiny, triumphant bastard, all of a sudden...
Kid: Pussy!
[walks by the kid Seth and pushes his notebook and his dick drawing off the desk, and it lands near kid Becca]
Evan: You hit Becca's foot with your dick?
Seth: Yeah. I know.
[kid Becca picks up the drawing he just did, looks at it for a second, sees that

it's a dick, and screams her head off and runs to the teacher]
Seth: She starts crying, she flips out. Then she rats me out to the principal. He finds this Ghostbusters lunchbox dick treasure chest and he fucking flips out.
[you see more of his dick drawings one by one]
Seth: He calls in my parents. Turns out this principal is a religious

fanatic, and he thinks I'm possessed by some sort of dick devil. My parents go make me see some therapist, and he's asking me all these dick questions. They literally stopped me from eating foods that were shaped like dicks. No hot dogs, no popsicles... You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds.
Evan: Well, I don't... That's really messed up. Supergay.


Ghostbusters
Ghostbusters

Gozer: [after Ray orders her to re-locate] Are you a God?
[Ray looks at Peter, who nonchalantly nods yes]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: No.
Gozer: Then... DIE!
[Lightning flies from her fingers, driving the Ghostbusters to the edge of the roof and almost off; people below scream]
Winston Zeddemore: Ray,

when someone asks you if you're a god, you say "YES"!
Dr. Peter Venkman: All right! This chick is TOAST!

Ghostbusters
Ghostbusters

Dr. Peter Venkman: [as the Ghostbusters approach Gozer] Grab your stick!
[the Ghostbusters draw their handsets]
Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddemore: HOLDIN'!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Heat 'em up!
[they arm their packs]
Dr. Raymond

Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddemore: SMOKIN'!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Make 'em hard!
[they rack their handsets]
Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddemore: READY!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Let's show this

prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown... THROW IT!

Ghostbusters
Ghostbusters

Dr. Peter Venkman: [surrounded by excited reporters during the montate sequence, which shows the Ghostbusters as a sudden popular culture craze] Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, no job is too big, no fee is too big!

Ghostbusters
Ghostbusters

[the Ghostbusters HQ blows up]
Louis: [possessed by Vinz Clortho a.k.a. The Keymaster] This is it! This is the sign!
Janine Melnitz: Yeah, it's a sign, all right. "Going out of business."

Ghostbusters
Ghostbusters

[while trying to catch the Slimer, the Ghostbusters cause a lot of damage to the hotel with their energy streams]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Nice shootin', Tex!

Ghostbusters
Ghostbusters

Dr. Peter Venkman: [looking at the temporary sign on Ghostbusters HQ while a worker is hanging it up] You don't think it's too subtle, Marty, you don't think people are going to drive down and not see the sign?
[hears a siren approaching and an old, gray station wagon pulls up in the driveway]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Whoa! Whoa! You can't park right here!


[looks and sees Stantz in the driver's seat]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: [gets out] Everybody can relax, I found the car. Needs some suspension work and shocks. Brakes, brake pads, lining, steering box, transmission, rear-end.
Dr. Peter Venkman: How much?
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Only $4,800.
[Venkman looks shocked]

Dr. Raymond Stantz: Also new rings, mufflers, a little wiring.

Ghostbusters
Ghostbusters

Dr. Peter Venkman: [the Ghostbusters are tiring as they climb twenty-two flights of stairs in their proton packs] Where are we?
Dr. Raymond Stantz: [gasps] Looks like we're in the teens... somewhere.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Well, when we get to twenty, tell me... I'm gonna throw up.

Ghostbusters
Ghostbusters

[in jail, the Ghostbusters study the blueprints of Dana's apartment building]
Dr. Egon Spengler: The structure of this roof cap is exactly like the kind of telemetry tracker that NASA uses to identify dead pulsars in deep space.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Cold-riveted girders with cores of pure selenium.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [to a

cellmate looking over his shoulder blueprints] Everybody getting this so far?
[to Ray]
Dr. Peter Venkman: So what? I guess they just don't make them like they used to.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: [impatiently slaps Peter on the forehead] No! Nobody *ever* made them like this! I mean, the architect was either a certified genius, or an authentic wacko!


Dr. Peter Venkman: Ray... for a moment, pretend that I don't know anything about metallurgy, engineering or physics, and just tell me what the hell is going on.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: You never studied. The whole building is a huge, superconductive antenna that was designed and built expressly for the purpose of pulling in and concentrating spiritual

turbulence. Your girlfriend lives in the corner penthouse of spook central.
Dr. Peter Venkman: She's not my girlfriend. I find her interesting because she's a client and sleeps above her covers. *Four feet* above her covers. She barks, she drools, she claws...
Dr. Egon Spengler: It's not the girl, Peter, it's the building. Something terrible is about

to enter our world, and this building is obviously the door. The architect's name was Ivo Shandor. I found it in Tobin's Spirit Guide. He was also a doctor. Performed a lot of unnecessary surgery. And then, in 1920, he started a secret society...
Dr. Peter Venkman: Let me guess: Gozer worshipers.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Right.
Dr. Peter

Venkman: [to Ray] No studying.
Dr. Egon Spengler: After the First World War, Shandor decided that society was too sick to survive.
[He pauses, glancing uneasily at the rest of the holding cell crowd]
Dr. Egon Spengler: And he wasn't alone. He had close to a thousand followers when he died. They conducted rituals up on the roof,

bizarre rituals intended to bring about the end of the world. And now it looks like it may actually happen.
[Silence]
Dr. Peter Venkman: [spins around to face another of the inmates, and starts singing] So be good, for goodness sake! Whoa... somebody's coming!

Ghostbusters
Ghostbusters

[the Ghostbusters exit the elevator. Dr. Egon Spengler charges his proton pack]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Come on.
[Chambermaid enters Hallway/corridor from Hotel Room]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: [Ray and Egon shout and blast her cart with proton beams]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Whoa! Hold it!
Chambermaid: What the

HELL are you doing?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Sorry.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Sorry.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: I'm Sorry.
Dr. Peter Venkman: We thought you were someone else. Successful test.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: I guess so. I think we'd better split up.
Dr. Egon Spengler:

Good idea.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Yeah, we can do more damage that way.