Christmases past, my sister Carolyn and I - we'd been waiting for Santa all night. Nothing! Where is this man?
[Lester and Carolyn are driving to the basketball game to watch Jane's dance team gig]
Lester Burnham: Well what makes you so sure she wants us to be there? Did she ask us to come?
Carolyn Burnham: Of course not. She doesn't want us to know how important this is to her. But she's been practicing her steps for weeks.
Lester
Burnham: Well, I'll bet money she's going to resent it, and I'm missing the James Bond marathon on TNT.
Carolyn Burnham: Lester, this is important. I'm sensing a real distance growing between you and Jane.
Lester Burnham: "Growing?" She hates me.
Carolyn Burnham: She's just willful.
Lester
Burnham: She hates you too.
[Carolyn is introducing Lester to the Real Estate King]
Carolyn Burnham: My husband, Lester.
Buddy Kane: It's a pleasure.
Lester Burnham: Oh, we've met before, actually. This thing last year, Christmas at the Sheraton...
Buddy Kane: [pretends to remember] Oh yeah, yes...
Lester
Burnham: It's OK, I wouldn't remember me either.
Carolyn Burnham: [laughs nervously] Honey, don't be weird.
Lester Burnham: OK honey, I won't be weird. I'll be whatever what you want me to be.
[Lester kisses Carolyn wildly, then looks at the Real Estate King]
Lester Burnham: We have a very healthy relationship.
Buddy Kane: I see.
Lester Burnham: Well, don't know about you guys, but I need a drink.
Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: What have you done to my daughter?
Angelique Bouchard: Well, Liz, your perfect Collins pedigree lacked a bit of substance so I sent the werewolf that bit Carolyn in her crib.
[See David]
Angelique Bouchard: Just like I made David no better than a bastard, when I sent his Mommy to the ocean floor to
have tea with the tuna.
[Turns to Barnabas]
Angelique Bouchard: And as for you my love, I killed your mother and father. I cursed your family, my Barnabas. They kept us apart, they couldn't see we're the same. We're meant to be.