Broom Quotes

Karen: [narrating, referring to the other wives] They all had bad skin and wore too much make up. They didn't look very good; they look beat up. The stuff they wore were thrown together and cheap, a lot of pantsuits and double knits. They talked about beating their kids with broom handles and leather belts, and that their kids still didn't pay any attention. When Henry picked me

up, I was dizzy.

M. Gustave: [interviewing will walking] Experience?
Zero: Hotel Kinsky, Kitchen Boy, 6 months. Hotel Berlitz, Mop and Broom Boy, 3 months. Before that I was a Skillet Scrubber.
M. Gustave: Experience, zero.
[to various workers]
M. Gustave: Straighten that cap. Pleasure's all mine. These are not

acceptable.
[back to Zero]
M. Gustave: Education?
Zero: I studied reading *and* spelling. I started my primary school. I almost finished...
M. Gustave: Education, zero.Good morning Cicero. Call the plumber. Family?
Zero: [hesitates] Zero.

Ron: [as Harry lays unconcious] Looks a bit peaky, doesn't he?
Fred Weasley: Peaky? What'd you expect him to look like? He fell fifty feet.
George Weasley: Yeah, c'mon, Ron. We'll walk you off the Astronomy Tower and see how you come out looking.
Harry: Probably a right sight better than he normally does.

[he opens his eyes to see everyone is with him]
Hermione: Harry! How are you feeling?
Harry: [he slips on his glasses] Brilliant.
Fred Weasley: Gave us a right good scare, mate.
Harry: What happened?
Ron: You fell off your broom.
Harry: Really? I meant

the match. Who won?
[silence, no one is answering]
Hermione: No one blames you, Harry. The Dementors aren't meant to come on the grounds. Dumbledore was furious. After he saved you, he sent them straight off.
Ron: There's something else you should know, Harry. Your Nimbus - when it blew away? - it sort of landed in the Whomping Willow. And

well...
[he hands Harry his broken broom stick]

Bender: How does one become a janitor?
Carl: You wanna be a janitor?
Bender: No, I just want to know how one becomes a janitor. Because Andrew here is very interested in pursuing a career in the custodial arts.
Carl: Oh really? You guys think I'm just some untouchable peasant? Serf? Peon? Well, maybe so. But

following a broom around after shitheads like you for the last 8 years, I've learned a couple of things. I look through your letters. I look through your lockers. I listen to your conversations, you don't know that but I do. I am the eyes and ears of this institution, my friends.
[Carl looks up at the clock and looks at his watch]
Carl: By the way, that clock's 20

minutes fast.

Ruby Deagle: [DELETED SCENE: Mrs. Deagle enters the bank and shoves her way through a long line to Kate's teller-cage] I want this check deposited immediately. Also, I know everything about that little petition you've been sending around town.
Kate Beringer: Mrs. Deagle, are you sure this is the time or the place for...?
Ruby Deagle:

Of course it is. I *always* mix business with pleasure. And it gives me *great* pleasure to inform you that said petition has failed. Moreover, as a direct result of your efforts, I'm foreclosing *your* home as well. I'm sure that really shocks you doesn't it? Good.
Kate Beringer: On the contrary, Mrs. Deagle, it doesn't surprise me at all. Actually, it's just the sort of

Christmas present I can see you giving.
Ruby Deagle: I'll thank you not to be impertinent, young lady.
Kate Beringer: And *I'll* thank YOU, in the name of the Holiday Season, to show an ounce of decency to these families you're ruining. Most of them can't afford to move, and even the ones who can really don't have anywhere to go. Isn't there anything

at all I can say or do to change your mind about destroying all those good people?
Ruby Deagle: [smiling wickedly] You've got three chances of making me reconsider this Hitox deal: none, less than none, and much less than none. Now, if you'll kindly deposit this check, I'll be on my way.
Billy Peltzer: [Sickened by all of this, Billy produces a broom

from underneath his own teller-cage. He passes it to the miserly lady] Merry Christmas, Mrs. Deagle.
Ruby Deagle: What's this?
Billy Peltzer: It's your Holiday present from me.
Ruby Deagle: This crummy old broom? What am I supposed to do with it?
Billy Peltzer: I thought you might need a ride home.

[Mrs. Deagle gasps in outrage, as the other customers behind her chuckle. She whirls and glares at them, then whirls back and glares at Billy again]
Billy Peltzer: We could have asked that you move to the back of the line and wait your turn like everyone else, but we didn't want to be rude...
[He glances at the other, relatively-patient clientele; his tone becomes

surreptitious]
Billy Peltzer: ... or worse.
Gerald: [rushing up with Mr. Corben close behind] What's going on here?
[doesn't wait for an answer]
Gerald: Shut up, Peltzer; I'm asking her, not you. Is there a problem, Mrs. Deagle?
Ruby Deagle: This young man just asked that I *move to the back of

the line and wait my turn like everybody else*! Of all the...!
Gerald: [Mr. Corben and Gerald both turn pale] Peltzer, how dare you! You're...!
Mr. Corben: *Gerald*! This is official.
Gerald: But *I* wanted to...!
Mr. Corben: [sternly cutting him off] Gerald. I'm not going to tell you again.

[turns back to Billy]
Mr. Corben: Peltzer, how dare you! You're fired!
Billy Peltzer: [removing his name tag] Thanks, Roland.
Mr. Corben: [furious] *Roland*?
Billy Peltzer: That's the best present you and Ger have ever given me.
[drops the name tag on the floor, then spins on his heel and walks

out cheerfully]
Mr. Corben: ...Well, what are you standing around for? Pick that up!
Gerald: [to Kate] You heard him. Pick it up. Now.
[Instead, she removes her own name tag and drops it on the floor as well]
Kate Beringer: Pick them up yourself, Ger. I quit.
[walks out after Billy]
Mr.

Corben: ...You heard her, Hopkins. Pick those off the floor. Immediately.
Gerald: *Me*? Since when do *I* get other people's dirty work?
Mr. Corben: [cold and deadly] When nobody else is there to do the dirty work, as you call it, the JVP becomes JAL - that is, Just Another Lackey. Now start earning that salary I'm paying you, before I

*really* blow my top and demonstrate just how rotten I *can* be. If you thought I was a schmuck with those other two...!
[Very unwillingly, Gerald picks both name tags off the floor. Then he goes to assist the long line of customers - all by himself - while Corben strolls whistling back to his office]