Bobcat Goldthwait
Bobcat Goldthwait

I do live a very Hugh Beaumont existence. I'm up every morning, taking my kids to school and all that, which obviously does interest me. But then it's taking meetings with goofballs and auditioning for crap, and then I spend a lot of time on the road.

Jack O'Brien
Jack O'Brien

For a production that suggests a mysterious dreamscape, I have a particular affection for the Vivian Beaumont Theater. It is the largest dramatic space available in New York City in terms of plays, although musicals have been done there very successfully as well.

Jackie Brown
Jackie Brown

Louis: Who's that?
Ordell Robbie: That's Beaumont.
Louis: Who's Beaumont?
Ordell Robbie: A employee I had to let go.
Louis: What'd he do?
Ordell Robbie: He put himself in a position where he was going to have to do ten years in prison, that's what he did. And if

you know Beaumont, you know ain't no god damn way he can do ten years. And if you know that, then you know Beaumont's gonna do anything Beaumont can to keep from doing them ten years, including telling the federal government any and every motherfucking thing about my black ass. Now that, my friend, is a clear cut case of him or me. And you best believe it ain't gonna be me.

Jackie Brown
Jackie Brown

Ordell Robbie: [Ordell has bailed Beaumont out of jail] Look at you and your free ass. Come here, boy, gimme a motherfuckin' hug.
Beaumont: Good lookin' out, man. I don't know what to say. Thank you, thank you...
Ordell Robbie: Uh-huh. Who was there for your ass?
Beaumont: You were there for my ass.

Ordell Robbie: Who?
Beaumont: You.
Ordell Robbie: Who?
Beaumont: You!
Ordell Robbie: Whooo?
Beaumont: You nigga, damn!
Ordell Robbie: You goddamn right. That's how that shit works: you get your ass in trouble, I get your ass out. That's my

motherfuckin' job. And I don't mind telling you, nigga, it's steady work.

Jackie Brown
Jackie Brown

Max Cherry: Beaumont Livingston.
Ordell Robbie: Livingston, huh?
Max Cherry: On his prior, he served nine months, he's working on four years probation.
Ordell Robbie: You don't say.
Max Cherry: You know what he's on probation for?
Ordell Robbie: Ain't got a clue.


Max Cherry: Possession of unregistered machine guns.
Ordell Robbie: Damn. Now, they gonna consider that a violation of his probation?
Max Cherry: They *do* consider this a violation of his probation. Your boy's looking at ten years, plus the concealed weapon.
Ordell Robbie: He ain't gonna like that.

Beaumont ain't got a doin' time kind of disposition.

The Hunt for Red October
The Hunt for Red October

[telling young Sonarman Beaumont about Jones's most embarrassing moment]
Watson: Seaman Jones here is into music in a big way, and he views this whole boat as his own personal, private stereo set. Well, one day he's got this piece of Pavarotti...
Seaman Jones: It was Paganini.
Watson: Whatever.
Seaman

Jones: It was Paganini.
Watson: Look, this is my story, okay?
Seaman Jones: Then tell it right, COB. Pavarotti is a tenor, Paganini was a composer.
Watson: So anyway, he's got this music out in the water, and he's listening to it on his headsets, and he's just happy as a clam. And then all hell breaks loose. See,

there's this whole slew of boats out in the water...
Seaman Jones: Including one WAY out at Pearl!
Watson: Including one way the hell out at Pearl. All of a sudden, they start hearing, Pavarotti...
Beaumont: Pavarotti!
Watson: Coming up their asses!

All About Eve
All About Eve

Lloyd Richards: What makes you think either Miller or Sherwood would stand for the nonsense I take from you? You'd better stick to Beaumont and Fletcher! They've been dead for three hundred years!
Margo: ALL playwrights should be dead for three hundred years!