96 You've Got Mail Quotes (2026) #2

You've Got Mail

Joe Fox: [Joe Fox leaves the store, but his balloon is caught in the door. Joe goes back into the store to free the balloon] Good thing it wasn't the fish!

You've Got Mail

Joe Fox: [writing to "Shopgirl"] Do you ever feel you've become the worst version of yourself? That a Pandora's box of all the secret, hateful parts - your arrogance, your spite, your condescension - has sprung open? Someone upsets you and instead of smiling and moving on, you zing them. "Hello, it's Mr Nasty." I'm sure you have no idea what I'm talking about.

Kathleen Kelly: [writing to "NY152"] No, I know what you mean, and I'm completely jealous! What happens to me when I'm provoked is that I get tongue-tied and my mind goes blank. Then I spend all night tossing and turning trying to figure out what I should have said. What should I have said, for example, to a bottom dweller who recently belittled my existence?
[stops and

thinks]
Kathleen Kelly: [writing] Nothing. Even now, days later, I can't figure it out.
Joe Fox: [writing] Wouldn't it be wonderful if I could pass all my zingers to you? And then I would never behave badly and you could behave badly all the time, and we'd both be happy. But then, on the other hand, I must warn you that when you finally have the

pleasure of saying the thing you mean to say at the moment you mean to say it, remorse inevitably follows.
[hesitates]
Joe Fox: [writing] Do you think we should meet?
Kathleen Kelly: [out loud] Meet? Oh my God...
[slams laptop shut]

You've Got Mail

Joe Fox: [writing to "Shopgirl"] I came home tonight and got into the elevator to go to my apartment. An hour later, I got out of the elevator, and Brinkley and I moved out. Suddenly, everything had become clear. It's a long story, full of the personal details we avoid so carefully. Let me just say there was a man sitting in the elevator with me who knew exactly what he wanted,

and I found myself wishing I were as lucky as he.

You've Got Mail

Nelson Fox: You know, I stayed on this boat after... let's see, your mother... Laurette, the ballet dancer...
Joe Fox: My nanny.
Nelson Fox: She was the nanny?
Joe Fox: Yeah.
Nelson Fox: [laughs] I forgot that. How ironic. Then there was the ice skater.
Joe Fox:

Also my nanny.
Nelson Fox: Really?
Joe Fox: Yeah.
Nelson Fox: That's amazingly ironic. And then there was Sybil, the... um... it's an "A" word...
Joe Fox: Astrologer.
Nelson Fox: Exactly. Yeah.
Joe Fox: Whose moon turned out to be in someone else's house,

as I recall.
Nelson Fox: Just like Gillian.
Joe Fox: Gillian ran off with someone?
Nelson Fox: The nanny.
Joe Fox: Nanny Maureen?
Nelson Fox: Yes.
Joe Fox: [Joe bursts out laughing] Well! Gillian ran off with Nanny Maureen, hmm?
Nelson

Fox: You got it.
Joe Fox: That's *incredibly* ironic.

You've Got Mail

Christina Plutzker: [repeated by George and Birdie, to Kathleen] He stood you up?

You've Got Mail

Kathleen Kelly: Why did you stop by again? I forget.
Joe Fox: I wanted to be your friend.
Kathleen Kelly: Oh.
Joe Fox: I knew it wasn't... possible. What can I say, sometimes a guy just wants the impossible.

You've Got Mail

Veronica Grant: [trapped in the elevator] If I ever get of here, I'm gonna start speaking to my mama. I wonder what she's doing right this very minute.
Charlie: If I ever get of here... I'm marrying Oreet. I love her. I should marry her. I don't know what's been stopping me.
Patricia Eden: [rummaging through her purse] If I ever get

out of here, I'm having my eyes lasered.
Joe Fox: If I ever get out of here...
Patricia Eden: Where are my Tic-Tacs? Ugh!
[pause]
Patricia Eden: What?

You've Got Mail

Nelson Fox: I just have to meet someone new, that's all. That's the easy part.
Joe Fox: Oh right, yeah, a snap to find the one single person in the world who fills your heart with joy.
Nelson Fox: Well, don't be ridiculous. Have I ever been with anyone who fit that description? Have you?

You've Got Mail

Joe Fox: I think you'd discover a lot of things if you really knew me.
Kathleen Kelly: If I really knew you, I know what I would find. Instead of a brain, a cash register. Instead of a heart, a bottom line.
[gasps]
Joe Fox: What?
Kathleen Kelly: I just had a breakthrough.
Joe

Fox: What is it?
Kathleen Kelly: I have you to thank for it. For the first time in my life, when confronted with a horrible, insensitive person, I knew exactly what I wanted to say and I said it!
Joe Fox: Well, I think you have the gift for it. That was a perfect blend of poetry and meanness.

You've Got Mail

Nelson Fox: Perfect. Keep those West-Side liberal nuts, psudo-intellectuals...
Joe Fox: Readers, Dad. They're called readers.
Nelson Fox: Don't do that, son. Don't romanticize them.

You've Got Mail

Person in Theatre: Do you mind?
Frank Navasky: A HOTDOG is singing. You need quiet while a hotdog is singing?

You've Got Mail

Frank Navasky: [about Birdie] She fell in love with Generalissimo Franco!
Kathleen Kelly: No, don't say that. Really. We don't know that for sure.
Frank Navasky: Well, who else could it have been? It was probably around 1960.
Kathleen Kelly: Do you want some popcorn?
Frank Navasky: I

can't believe this! I mean, it's not like he was something normal, like a socialist or an anarchist or something.
Kathleen Kelly: It happened in Spain. People do really stupid things in foreign countries.
Frank Navasky: Absolutely. They buy leather jackets for much more than they're worth. But they don't fall in love with fascist dictators!

You've Got Mail

Joe Fox: I like Patricia. I *love* Patricia. Patricia makes *coffee* nervous.

You've Got Mail

Kathleen Kelly: [in the backgroud horns are honking, tires are skidding and people are shouting in the street]
[seriously]
Kathleen Kelly: Don't you just love New York in the fall?

You've Got Mail

Frank: [to TV interviewer] Thank you're.

You've Got Mail

Kathleen Kelly: I could never be with someone who has a boat.
Joe Fox: I have a boat.
Kathleen Kelly: Oh.
Joe Fox: Which clinches it; we'll never be together.

You've Got Mail

Kathleen Kelly: I love daisies.
Joe Fox: You told me.
Kathleen Kelly: They're so friendly. Don't you think daisies are the friendliest flower?

You've Got Mail

Joe Fox: What happened with that guy at the cafe?
Kathleen Kelly: Nothing.
Joe Fox: But you're crazy about him.
Kathleen Kelly: Yes, I am.
Joe Fox: Well, why don't you run off with him? What are you waiting for?
Kathleen Kelly: I don't actually know him.

[cringes]
Joe Fox: Really?
Kathleen Kelly: I only know him through the, uh... you're not going to believe this...
Joe Fox: Oh, let me guess. Through the Internet?
Kathleen Kelly: Yes.
Joe Fox: Hmm. You've... got mail.
Kathleen Kelly: Yes!

Joe Fox: Some very powerful words.
Kathleen Kelly: Yes...

You've Got Mail

Joe Fox: Brinkley is my dog. He loves the streets of New York as much as I do, although he likes to eat bits of pizza and bagels off the sidewalk and I prefer to buy them.