Allison: The world's a playground. You know that when you are a kid, but somewhere along the way everyone forgets it.
Allison: [riding on a motor scooter] Am I going too fast for you?
Carl Allen: Nah. In fact, I think you should go faster. That way if we crash, at least I'll die. I just don't wanna be kept alive artificially.
Allison: Are you stalking me?
Carl Allen: No, I would never do that. Oh, by the way, the new furniture looks great from the yard.
Allison: [singing with her band] Don't call me past 11 PM, it won't happen again. You can call me at 10:59 but don't call me at 11 because that's my rule now.
Carl Allen: Hey, Carl... you wanna give your money away to some homeless guy? Yes, yes I do. How 'bout letting him use up the phone battery so that you can't get help when your car runs out of gas? You know what? That sounds like a fuckin' great idea!
Norman: You called me Norm!
Carl Allen: Yeah.
Norman: Could that like be my nickname?
Carl Allen: Yeah, I guess.
Norman: Ah nice, I like your style, Car. That could be yours.
Carl Allen: Yeah, Carl's pretty short already but...
Carl Allen: [while watching Saw on DVD] Oh come on, you're halfway through, just snap it off already!
Multack: We knew another Carl that we weren't fond of, now did we, Tweed...?
Tweed: ...His name was "Marx."
Carl Allen: I am gone-o-reha. That didn't sound right.
Carl Allen: What I have to share is huge... and I want to share it with you.
Allison: Have you met my friend Ian? He's a computer hacker. He helped me erase your MySpace page, and your band's MySpace page, and your FaceBook page. Happy networking, asshole!
Nick: [listing things he's done since he started saying "yes"] I killed a cow with a bazooka... I'm not proud of that last one.
[last lines]
Terrence Bundley: YES! Say it a million times. Then say it a million more. And the word you will have said two million times is...
[looks around and sees everyone at the seminar is naked]
Terrence Bundley: Oh, my God.
Yes People: [while covering themselves up as best they can] YES!
Tweed: Can you explain why you were at the airport buying a ticket with no luggage?
Carl Allen: You know it was a spur-of-the-moment trip.
Tweed: Yeah I was just explaining to my partner here how much I've always wanted to see Lincoln, Nebraska.
Allison: [singing with her band] Don't call me past 11pm, it won't happen again. Happened once, it happened twice, it happened three times, maybe four times, maybe five times, maybe, maybe it happened six times, but it won't happen seven times.
[first lines]
Carl Allen: [refusing incoming cell phone call] No.
Carl Allen: [refusing another incoming call] No means no.
Carl Allen: Was I chewing gum before?
Carl Allen: I can't believe I tripped like that.
Carl Allen: Yes!
