Tipper: I just wanna junk-punch him in his man business.
Hater: You should never let a chick get in your head; that's why I prefer not to even talk to my dates.
Jack Fuller: It's like you're trying to come in first, but it's someone else's race.
Jack Fuller: [before entering their first marital counseling session] You ready for this?
Joy McNally: Pretend that you don't make me vomit in my nose every time I look at you? Definitely.
Jack Fuller: I did take myself out of the game. If you stop betting, you never have to lose.
Jack Fuller: Will to be married to me... again?
Joy McNally: [sighs] Being with you makes me be myself again so I will be married to you... again.
[they kiss]
Joy McNally: I quit my job.
Jack Fuller: Good thing we have a ton of money!
Dave the Bear: Do you even know how to drive an automatic?
Hater: I can have a vial of crabs here in 30 minutes.
Jack Fuller: Where's the one place where you can step up and be a man?
Hater: Community college?
Hater: Lavender, you get on my head.
Hater: Take him to court. It might be nice.
Jack Fuller: What am I going to do about money?
Hater: Wow, you're just realizing that, right now? Fascinating.
Mason: Well, this is my place so technically you'd be the one... who has to leave, but... are you crying?
Mason: [switches on light]
Tipper: Surprise...
Mason: Oh... shit balls...
Chong: I eat girls like you.
Joy McNally: You eat girls?
Chong: That's not what I me...
Joy McNally: No, makes sense.
Chong: No! I'm not...
Joy McNally: Totally understandable.
Chong: Be whoever you want to be, you'll still gonna be my subordinate.
Joy McNally: Excuse me?
Chong: It's from the Latin, meaning "my bitch."
Joy McNally: By not trying to please you, I think I became myself again.
Hater: [talking to tipper] You know what stripper? You're kind of a disgusting skank.
