Bryan Callen: Lock up the china because the boys are at it again!
Paddy Conlon: I've got a thousand days. A thousand days sober today.
Brendan Conlon: Well, that's great, Pop. But it doesn't change anything.
Paddy Conlon: What do you mean it doesn't change anything? Have a heart, Brendan.
Brendan Conlon: You listen to me. You take your have-a-heart bullshit and you run it
down the road. Run it out on someone who doesn't know you like I do.
Bryan Callen: Tommy Riordan's captured the media's attention, but the question still remains: who is this guy? And more importantly, can he compete in this talent pool? Can he win?
Sam Sheridan: I wish I knew, Bryan. I wish I knew who he was, and I've gotta say the fact that I don't know is strange. In an internet age where there are no secrets, this guy is
a complete mystery. I can't find out anything about him. Tommy Riordan is officially Google proof.
Brendan Conlon: C'mon, it's not as bad as it looks.
Principal Zito: Are you being literal or figurative? Because literally it looks bad. And figuratively it looks even worse. The superintendent's coming by in a few minutes. So gimme a little help here, Brendan. Can you explain to me what the hell you were doing?
Brendan Conlon: I
need the money, Joe.
Principal Zito: Yeah, but we can't have this. This isn't moonlighting at Applebee's for Christ's sake.
Tom Conlon: Tiptoeing around here like a beggar - with your little cup.