A vote for me is a vote completely thrown away.
When you create Hope in people, you create expectations. When you do not fulfill those expectations, when the change becomes more of the same old, same old, the Hope that was created can only turn to anger, frustration and bitter disappointment.
Together my friends, we will ride our ponies into a zombie-powered future.
We can afford all these wars; this, that, the other thing, why can't every American have a pony? If you break it down, if you do the math, the government could afford to give you a pony. Don't let them tell you they couldn't, they could.
Gingivitis has been eroding the gum line of this great nation long enough.
I think the important thing to understand about the free pony program is, of course, it is an absolutely free pony program, uh, there may be some incidental costs involved with pony social security or universal pony health care or the haystamp program so ponies won't starve in the streets.
I'm a tyrant that you should trust, and you should let me run your life, because I do know what is best for you.
Once every American has a pony then I can - by fiat, executive order or something like that - dismantle the federal government with a snap of my magic fingers.
The system! The whole stinking ball of wax. It's a scam!
Tom Brady should be a heartbeat away from the presidency, and that heartbeat should be mine.
Yes, I will promise you anything your little elector heart desires... Of course, I have no intention of keeping any promise I make.
It will create lots and lots of jobs once we switch over to a pony based economy.
For too long, this country has been suffering a great moral and oral decay in spirit and incisors.
Jesus had told me to make Randall Terry gay.
It is only the dogmatic, and the humorless, that don't succumb to my charm.
Everyone's a mixed bag. I'm a utopian social anarchist, but I'm also a pragmatist.
Quite frankly, my constituency crosses a very wide swath of the political spectrum.
I'm a friendly fascist.
I've run as a Democrat, but I was not a Democrat. And when I ran as a Republican, I was not a Republican. I was just utilizing the New Hampshire primary as a vehicle to put forward my satirical critique of the system.
Yes I am a politician - I will promise you anything your little electorate heart desires - because you are my constituents, you are the informed voting public, and because I have no intention of keeping any promise that I make.
