Mic: Mr. Spock, you have the conn.
Underground Tech: Who's Mr. Spock?
Ben Richards: [trying to get Dynamo's attention] Hey, Lighthead! Hey, Christmas Tree!
Agent: Mr. Richards, I'm your court-appointed theatrical agent.
Ben Richards: I'll be back!
Amber Mendez: They think I'm your girlfriend.
Ben Richards: I can straighten that out. See that camera up there? I'll strangle you in front of the whole audience.
Damon Killian: [after incriminating footage is shown on the studio screen] Ladies and gentlemen! Ladies and gentlemen! If you'll please bare with us, we're experiencing technical difficulties!
Elderly Lady: Bullshit!
Tony: The Justice Department's calling every ten minutes.
Damon Killian: Just give them an evasive answer. Tell them to go fuck themselves.
Damon Killian: What's the matter? Steroids make you deaf?
Damon Killian: Brenda, if that ass hole is mopping the floor tomorrow, you'll be mopping it for the rest of the week. Let's go!
[Ben had just killed Subzero]
Ben Richards: [to Damon] Hey, Killian! Here's Subzero! Now... plain zero!
Damon Killian: [sadly] Ladies and Gentlemen, this is... just horrible. Words can't express what we're all feeling at this very moment. A great champion has fallen. We'll be back right after these important messages.
Fireball: [Richards rips his fuel line] My gas line! My gas line! Go to commercial! Go to Commercial!
Ben Richards: [lights a flair] How about a light?
Fireball: [Fireball screams and then explodes]
Ben Richards: What a hothead.
Amy: You're lucky he didn't kill you, too. Or rape you, then kill you. Or kill you, then rape you.
[Ben Richards finds a mortally-wounded Laughlin]
William Laughlin: I'm going somewhere, but not with you. Buzzsaw took care of my traveling arrangements.
[Damon Killian is talking to the operator on the telephone]
Damon Killian: Hello, this is Killian. Give me the Justice Department, Entertainment Division. No, no, hold that, Operator? Get me the President's agent.
Ben Richards: [to a trapped Dynamo] No. I won't kill a helpless human being. Not even sadistic scum... like you.
Ben Richards: Women. Can't live with 'em, can't live... with 'em.
William Laughlin: [his last words] Don't let us down. I don't want to be the only asshole in heaven, Ben.
