Phillippe: I wear the mask. It does not wear me.
D'Artagnan: Anne, I know that to love you is a treason against France, but not to love you is a treason against my heart.
Queen Anne: Then we will both die traitors, D'Artagnan.
Athos: What is Porthos doing?
Aramis: Walking into the barn naked, or so it would seem.
Athos: But what is he doing?
Aramis: About to hang himself, I suppose; he's been threatening to do it for months.
Athos: Hang himself?
Aramis: Perhaps you should take his offer. We're dead anyway.
Porthos: He's right, D'Artagnan.
Phillippe: Wait. Bargain me to Louis for all your lives. You've done your best. Please let me go.
D'Artagnan: No, I cannot do it. Even if I could give up my king, I could never give up my son.
[they all look
at him, thunderstruck]
Phillippe: Your son?
D'Artagnan: I loved your mother. I love her still. You are my son. I never knew you existed. And I never felt pride as a father... until this moment.
Porthos: [he puts the rope around his neck and prepares to jump] Farewell cruel world... farewell to useless Porthos.
[jumps]
Athos: [Aramis and Athos are watching the building from the outside] What was that?
Aramis: It's all right; I sawed the beam.
[the building promptly collapses, and Athos stares at Aramis in
disbelief]
Aramis: Well, I'm a genius, not an engineer!
[as the Four Musketeers and Phillipe charge]
Louis: Shoot!
Lt. Andre: Magnificent valor...
Aramis: Sometimes there are more important things in life than a good pair of tits.
Porthos: Really? If you can name me one thing that is more sublime than the feel of a plump, pink nipple between my lips, I'll build you a new cathedral.
Aramis: Forgiveness...
Porthos: Forgiveness...?
[Porthos farts]
Porthos: There... i am i forgiven? Come on... am i forgiven?
[play fight ensures between them]
King Louis XIV: I hear there was an incident at the Musketeers' gate, where a man came intent on killing me. Is it our policy now to let would-be assassins go free, d'Artagnan?
D'Artagnan: He wished to kill his own pain. His son is dead. I can think of nothing worse.
King Louis XIV: What about losing your king?
D'Artagnan: That depends on the king.
Athos: Is that just because you are holier than everybody else?
Aramis: Well, there is that, but also because I'm more intelligent than everybody else.
[the Four Musketeers and Phillipe are trapped by riflemen at the other end of the hallway]
Aramis: D'Artagnan... They're young Musketeers. They've been weaned on our legends. They revere us. It is an advantage.
Porthos: Yes. Why don't we charge them?
D'Artagnan: I trained these men. They will fight to the death. But if we must
die - if WE must die - let it be like this.
[He draws his sword and points it at the floor. Aramis, Porthos, and Athos, join their swords with his]
Athos: One for all. All for one.
Porthos: Aramis, is this the way to hell?
Aramis: Hell may be our destination, but not this trip.
Athos: [to Phillipe] Once I, once all of us, believed in serving something greater than ourselves. Aramis had his faith, Porthos his lust for life, D'Artagnan his devotion and I had Raoul. But we all had a common dream. That one day we would finally be able to serve a king who was worthy of the throne. It is what we dreamt, what we bled for, and what we have waited a lifetime to
see. I taught Raoul to believe in that dream, and now my son is dead. And now I want to know if my son's life was in vain, and the only person who can answer that is you.
Porthos: [a naked Porthos has tried to hang himself but failed] Aramis! You sawed the beam! You knew I would I try to hang myself and you sawed the beam! Admit it. Admit it!
Aramis: Of course I knew! And now that you've got the idea of killing yourself out of your head you can stop boring everyone and be useful for a change. And put some clothes on!