The Lobster Quotes

Loner Leader: Do you love her?
Campari Man: With all my heart
Loner Leader: How much do you love her? On a scale of 1 to 15.
Campari Man: 14.
Loner Leader: 14 is a very impressive score. He loves her very much indeed. Who do you think we should kill? Who will be able to live on their

own better?
Campari Man: ...
Loner Leader: You. If this woman dies, do you think you will manage on your own or will you get involved with someone else?
Campari Man: No. I can live alone, she cannot... I like sitting in the room. Relaxes me. Calms me. I like it a lot. I can definitely live on my own.

Nosebleed Woman: I'm sorry, I've got blood on your shirt. But don't worry, there are many ways to remove bloodstains from clothing. One way is to rinse the clothes with cold water then rub with sea salt. Another way is to scrub the stains with cotton wool dipped in ammonia. The third way is to mix flour and water into a paste, like toothpaste, especially if the clothes are

delicate or brightly coloured. But just never use warm water on blood, ever.

David: I'm going to do it with a knife.
Short Sighted Woman: Do you want me to come with you?
David: I'd rather you didn't.
Short Sighted Woman: Don't worry. It's strange at first but then you'll get used to it. The other senses are heightened, touch for example, and hearing.
David: I

know... I won't be long.

David: Are you short sighted?
Loner Swimmer: No.
David: You're lying.
Loner Swimmer: It's the truth.
David: [shows him the chain of his sidebag] What does it say here?
Loner Swimmer: YKK.
David: You knew that already. All zips say the same

thing.

Short Sighted Woman: [narrating] Some punishments are worse than other punishments. Having your thumb cut is worse than having your head shaved. And having a hot boiled egg under your armpit is worse than having your leg kicked. The punishment I am afraid of isn't the Red Kiss but another one, that is called the Red Intercourse. I have never seen it happen, but it's not difficult

to imagine what it means.

Hotel Manager: How you like to spend your last night? What I always said in this situation is it would be wise to do something you can't do as an animal. For example, read a work of classic literature or sing a song you really like. It would be silly to choose, for example, a walking the ground or have sex intercourse with another person, those are things you can do as an animal.