The Holiday Quotes

Iris: I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or

how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come

back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade.

Iris: I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to

alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I

am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such

individual. And I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years of my life! The worst Christmas', the worst Birthday's, New Years Eve's brought in by tears and valium. These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life. All because I've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back. Oh god, just the

sight of him! Heart pounding! Throat thickening! Absolutely can't swallow! All the usual symptoms.

Arthur Abbott: You know what I've been asking myself all night?
Iris: What? Why I'm bothering you with all these questions?
Arthur Abbott: I'm wondering why a beautiful girl like you would go to a strangers' house for their Christmas Vacation, and on top of that spend Saturday night with an old cock-up like me.

Iris: Well, I just wanted to get away from all the people I see all the time!...
[Arthur looks at her incredulously]
Iris: Well, not all the people... one person. I wanted to get away from one... guy.
[she sobs]
Iris: An ex-boyfriend who just got engaged and forgot to tell me.
Arthur Abbott: So,

he's a schmuck.
Iris: As a matter of fact, he is... a huge schmuck. How did you know?
Arthur Abbott: He let you go. This is not a hard one to figure out. Iris, in the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason you are behaving like the best friend.
Iris:

You're so right. You're supposed to be the leading lady of your own life, for god's sake! Arthur, I've been going to a therapist for three years, and she's never explained anything to me that well. That was brilliant. Brutal, but brilliant.

Graham: I have another scenario for you - I'm in love with you. I apologize for the blunt delivery, but as problematic as this fact may be, I'm in love... with YOU. I'm not feeling this because you're leaving, and not because it feels good to feel this way... which, by the way, it does, or did before you went off like that. I can't figure out the mathematics of this, I just know I

love you. I can't believe how many times I'm saying it! And I never thought I'd feel this way again, so that's pretty phenomenal. And I realize that I come as a package deal: 3 for the price of 1. I know my package, perhaps in the light of day, isn't all that wonderful, but I finally know what I want and that, in itself, is a miracle. And what I want is YOU.

Iris: Because you're hoping you're wrong. And every time she does something that tells you she's no good, you ignore it. And every time she comes through and suprises you, she wins you over, and you lose that argument with yourself, that she's not for you.
Miles: Exactly, and on top of that there's the old standby, I can't believe a girl like that would

actually be with a guy like me.

Jasper: You know what I was thinking? When you get back to London, maybe we could sneak off somewhere together. Maybe Venice. You and me in Venice could be good.
Iris: Do you mean that? I mean, are you free to do that?
Jasper: Darling, I've just traveled halfway across the world to see you, haven't I?
Iris:

[Iris & Jasper almost kiss before Iris pulls away] Yeah, that doesn't exactly answer my question. So, are you not with Sarah anymore? I mean, is that what you've come here to tell me?
Jasper: I wish you could just accept knowing how confused I am about all this.
Iris: Okay, let me translate that. So, you are still engaged to be married?

Jasper: Yes, but, I mean...
Iris: Oh, my God.
[Iris gets up from the couch]
Iris: This was a really close call. You know, I never really though I'd say this, literally never, but I think you were absolutely right about us. Very square peg, very round hole.
Jasper: You cannot mean that.

Iris: The great thing is I actually do. And I'm about three years late in telling you this, but nevertheless I need to say it. Jasper. Wait, I need the lights on. Jasper, you have never treated me right. Ever.
Jasper: Oh, babe.
Iris: Shush. You broke my heart. And you acted like somehow it was my fault, my misunderstanding, and I was

too in love with you to ever be mad at you, so I just punished myself! For years! But you waltzing in here on my lovely Christmas holiday, and telling me that you don't want to lose me whilst you're about to get MARRIED, somehow newly entitles me to say, it's over. This - This twisted, toxic THING between us, is finally finished! I'm miraculously done being in love with you! Ha! I've got a life to

start living.
[Picks up Jasper's jacket, walking to the door]
Iris: And you're not going to be in it.
Jasper: Darling.
Iris: Now I've got somewhere really important to be, and you have got to get the hell out.
[Opens the door]
Iris: Now!
Jasper: What exactly has got

into you?
Iris: I don't know.
[Pushes Jasper out the door]
Iris: But I think what I've got is something slightly resembling, gumption.
[Slams door shut in Jasper's face. Lifts hands up and screams with joy]

Graham: And what did you say?
Iris: I asked her to hold. Can I call you back?
Graham: I can hold while you speak to her.
Iris: Really?
Graham: Find out how she is.
Iris: Okay.
[Iris switches call]
Iris: My brother wants to know how

you are.
Amanda: Can you tell him I'm good and that I'm just taking Charlie for a walk in the village. Um, what's he been up to? Did he say?
Iris: I'm not sure. Do you want me to ask him?
Amanda: Uh, sure.
Iris: Okay. Hold please.
[Iris switches call again]
Iris: I can't

believe that you have had sex with the woman staying in my house!
Amanda: [Gasps] He told you that?
Iris: Oh, my God!
Amanda: Oh, my God!
Iris: Oh, my God! I thought I was talking to Graham! Can you just hold, please? I'm terribly sorry.
[Iris switches calls again]
Iris: I

can't believe you had sex with Amanda! The one thing she asked me was, 'Are there any men in your town?', and I assured her that there were not. And then you meet her and immediately get into her knickers!
Amanda: Still me.
Iris: Bollocks! I must have lost him. Amanda, I am so sorry.
[Call waiting beeps]
Iris: Can I

call you back?
Amanda: Sure.
Iris: Okay, bye.

Arthur Abbott: I've got something for you.
[picks up a corsage]
Iris: [touched] Oh.
Arthur Abbott: Forgive me. The last time I had a date, this this is what we did.
Iris: It's beautiful.
[kisses Arthur on the cheek]
Arthur Abbott: If it's corny, or if it's going to ruin

your outfit, you don't have to wear it.
Iris: [Iris puts the corsage on her wrist] I like corny.
[takes Arthur's hands]
Iris: I'm looking for corny in my life.
Arthur Abbott: That's a nice line.
Iris: It's all those movies!
Arthur Abbott: Okay, let's do it. Let's get this

embarassment over with.
Iris: Okay.

Arthur Abbott: [Reaches stairs to stage, Miles's theme music comes on] I'll do it.
[Climbs up stairs, give Iris a thumbs up at the top]
Arthur Abbott: [Addressing the audience] Thank you. Thank you, thank you. I'm absolutely overwhelmed... that I could climb those stairs.
[Audience laughs]
Arthur Abbott: I came to

Hollywood over 60 years ago, and immediately fell in love with motion pictures. And it's a love affair that's lasted a lifetime. When I first arrived in Tinseltown, there were no cineplexes or multiplexes. No such thing as a Blockbuster or DVD. I was here before conglomerates owned the studios. Before pictures had special effects teams. And definitely before box office results were reported like

baseball scores on the nightly news.

Amanda: Okay, let's say we just make this happen. We each commit to flying back and forth as much as we can.
Graham: Yes! It's doable, definitely.
Amanda: And then let's say in 6 months we hit a wall. Like I can't constantly be away from work or the girls can't deal with you leaving so often. Then we start to feel the tension, we

know this isn't going to work, so we start fighting because we don't know what else to do. And after a long, tearful- at your end...
Graham: I like it
[sarcastically]
Graham: .
Amanda: -phone call we say goodbye. And that'll be it, for real. It's not like we're ever going to bump into each other. And then what's left?

Two miserable people feeling totally mashed up it hurts. Or...
Graham: Thank you.
Amanda: Or maybe we should just realize that what we've had these past few weeks has been perfect. And maybe it won't get any better than this. And maybe we're trying to figure this thing out because it makes us feel so good to feel this way, and maybe the fact that I'm

leaving in 8 hours makes this far more exciting than it might actually be.
Graham: You're seriously the most depressing girl I have ever met.

Graham: I have another scenario for you.
Amanda: Good.
Graham: I am in love with you. I apologize for the blunt delivery, but as problematic as this fact may be, I am in love. With you. And I'm not feeling this because you're leaving, and not because it feels good to feel this way- which by the way, it does, or did before you went

off like that. I can't figure out the mathematics of this, I just know I love you. Can't believe how many times I'm saying it. I never thought I'd feel this way again, so that's pretty phenomenal. But I realize I come with a package deal- 3 for the price of 1. And my package perhaps in the light of day isn't all that wonderful, but I finally know what I want, and that in itself is a miracle. And

what I want is you.
Amanda: I wasn't expecting 'I Love You'. Can you not look at me like that? I'm trying to find the right thing to say.
Graham: I think if the obvious response doesn't immediately come to you, uh, we can just, we should just talk about something else. Like possibly what a complete ass I am. I do recall you promising me you wouldn't

fall in love with me. Must pay better attention.
Amanda: I've never met a guy who talks as much as me. But just for now, be quiet.