The Hangover Part III
The Hangover Part III

Marshall: [about Chow] He fucked me in the ass!
Alan: Oh, he does that from time to time.
Marshall: Not literally.

The Hangover Part III
The Hangover Part III

Sid: [on the phone] Yes, sir. Absolutely, I will. Thank you so much. No, of course. No no and again, I'm so sorry.
[hangs up the phone and sits down with Alan]
Sid: That was the mayor, Alan.
Alan: It was an accident.
[pause]
Alan: You'd said you'd always love me no matter what I did.

Sid: I know and I do. You're my best friend, but Alan, why would you buy a giraffe?
Alan: I always wanted one. I can feed him from my treehouse. Besides, they remind me a lot of myself.
Sid: In what way?
Alan: They're majestic, pensive, and tall.
Sid: Pensive.

Alan: Yeah!
Sid: Where'd you learn that word?
Alan: Words with Friends.
Sid: What friends, Alan?
Alan: You can set it on random.
Sid: [sighs] Alan, aside from the fact that you shut down a freeway, you murdered a wild animal. It's national news. You don't wanna

know the cheques I had to write to fix this.
Alan: Oh please, we're rich!
Sid: We are not anything, Alan. I am well-off. You are my 40-year-old son...
Alan: I'M 42!
Sid: 40...
Alan: I'M 42!
Sid: 42-year-old son who still lives at home. You are to go back

on your medication or I'm cutting you off.
Alan: You're bluffing. When's dinner?
Sid: Your mother and I can't take this any more!
Alan: Oh, you might have to.
Sid: I can't do it! I cannot do this!
[Alan puts on Dre Beats, listening to "My Life" by Billy Joel, as his father has a heart and his

mother and nanny panics]
Linda: ALAN! ALAN!

The Hangover Part III
The Hangover Part III

Marshall: Leslie Chow stole $21,000,000 from me, on a Tuesday.

The Hangover Part III
The Hangover Part III

Marshall: Doug is my insurance. He stays with me. You don't get me Chow, I blow his brains out. You go to the cops, I blow his brains out.
Phil: But, that's insane! We don't even know where the fuck he is!
Marshall: Nobody does, but I figure the Wolf Pack has the best chance of finding him. You have three days. Get to work.

Alan: Can you take Stu instead?
Stu: Fuck you, Alan!

The Hangover Part III
The Hangover Part III

Mr. Chow: Who sent you?
Phil: No one! No. We just wanted to see you!
Mr. Chow: Liar! No one wants to see Chow!

The Hangover Part III
The Hangover Part III

[to Phil, about Alan]
Stu: That place in Arizona's not going to help him. There is no facility that can fix this guy. We're going to spend the rest of our lives dealing with him, because we're all he has now. You realize that? We're it!

The Hangover Part III
The Hangover Part III

Phil: No that's perfect, that's like a three hour drive from here.
Alan: Yeah Stu, try reading a map.
Stu: Yeah Alan, try reading... anything... ever.
Alan: Yeah Stu, try having not such big horse teeth.

The Hangover Part III
The Hangover Part III

Stu: This is so much harder than you realise, Phil. I'm just a dentist!
Phil: No, Stu, you're a fucking doctor. Now go get him!

The Hangover Part III
The Hangover Part III

Tyler: Are you my real dad?
Alan: [after a long pause] Yes.

The Hangover Part III
The Hangover Part III

Mr. Chow: We do a deal! I make good wife for you!

The Hangover Part III
The Hangover Part III

Alan: Mother! Oreo smoothie, now!

The Hangover Part III
The Hangover Part III

[last lines]
Alan: I'm ready.

The Hangover Part III
The Hangover Part III

Stu: You just saw a man get murdered, your brother in law is kidnapped. Are you sure there is nothing worse?
Alan: You don't get it Stu. You just don't get it do you? I have over 60 apps on that phone! What if I lost my phone? Do you know how much time and man hours it would take to redownload those apps?
Stu: [Sarcastically] You are

right. I didn't think about that, thank you.

The Hangover Part III
The Hangover Part III

Alan: She's my soulmate and my new best friend. Plus, she lets me mount her, which relaxes me.
Phil: Oh my God.
Doug: Uh, Alan, maybe never say that part again.
Alan: Chillax, Doug. We're all adults here. I know you mount my sister. I've seen it. Many times.

The Hangover Part III
The Hangover Part III

Alan: I almost died Phil!
Phil: Come on! I was not going to let you go you're my boy!
Alan: And you're my man!

The Hangover Part III
The Hangover Part III

Phil: [to Alan while driving the Wolf Pack to Arizona] You know I meant to tell you earlier. That's a very cool vest you got on.
Alan: Thanks Phil it was my Dad's. He died in it.
Stu: Whoa! That's intense!

The Hangover Part III
The Hangover Part III

Sid: [Sid throws down the phone] That was the Mayor, Alan.
Alan: It was an accident. You said you love me no matter what I did.
Sid: I know and I do. You're my best friend but Alan why would you buy a giraffe?
Alan: I always wanted one! Could feed him from my tree house. Besides they remind me a lot of myself.


Sid: In what way?
Alan: They're majestic. Pensive and tall.
Sid: Pensive?
Alan: Yeah!
Sid: Where did you learn that word?
Alan: Rhymes with friends.
Sid: What friends Alan?
Alan: You can say it on random.

Sid: Alan aside from the fact that you shut down a freeway, you murdered a wild animal. It's national news. You don't want to know the checks I had to write to fix this!
Alan: Oh please! We're rich!
Sid: We're not anything Alan! I am well off! You are my 40 year old son...
Alan: 42!

Sid: ...42 year old son who still lives at home! You either go back on your medication or I'm cutting you off!
Alan: You're bluffing. When 's dinner?
Sid: You're mother and I can't take it anymore!

The Hangover Part III
The Hangover Part III

Mr. Chow: You got something to say to me now, blue-eyes? No more silent treatment?

The Hangover Part III
The Hangover Part III

Mr. Chow: [hang-gliding off of Caeser's Palace] I believe I can fly! I believe I can touch the sky! Think about it every night and day! Spread my wings and fly away!

The Hangover Part III
The Hangover Part III

Alan: [delivering a eulogy] I can't believe my daddy is dead. I can think of so many people I would rather have died first, like my mother.