Stan: It must really blow being you.
Casey: You have no idea.
Casey: Everyone's been acting really weird, especially the faculty.
Stokely: Tell me about it, it's like they've all turned into fucking pod people or something.
Casey: Into what people?
Stokely: Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Small town gets taken over by aliens... That was a joke.
Miss Burke: Zeke, you cannot conduct personal business on school property.
[Zeke sits down on his car]
Zeke: Well, Miss Burke, we have a problem because I'm sitting on my car and that's my property.
Miss Burke: Well I've had complaints from several students that you've sold them mind-altering substances. Now do you wanna talk
to me about it, or take it up with Principal Drake?
Zeke: You're too tense, Miss Burke. But I've got just the thing for ya.
Miss Burke: You know, Zeke, I am the authority figure here, it's time you realized that.
Zeke: Helps relief from blockage caused by dietary stress: Chocolate flavored laxatives.
Miss
Burke: You know Zeke, if you applied just 5 percent of that intellect to your studies...
Zeke: Not a chocolate lover, huh?
Miss Burke: ...you could've made up your finals last summer and you wouldn't have had to repeat your senior year.
Zeke: Not a chocolate lover, huh? How about this: Condoms. Magnum Sized. And
they're cherry flavored. C'mon... they're on me.
Miss Burke: That's so rude.
[Stan wants to quit football to study]
Delilah: You're not good at studying Stan, you're good at football. You should stick to what you're good at.
Stan: Yeah, I've always been good at football, and basketball, and every other sport I've tried. I think maybe it's time I should try something I'm not so good at, something different.
Delilah: And what am I supposed to do while you're on a yellow book quest for a brain?
Stan: What?
Delilah: The accepted social order is that head cheerleaders date star quarterbacks, not academic wannabees.
Stan: Don't be so superficial...
Delilah: Superficial... four syllables, that's
really good Stan, you're on your way. Let me know how the cure for cancer goes.
Stan: I was hoping you'd be with me on this...
Delilah: Don't you just love how Stokely accessorize with different shades of black?
Stokely: Fuck you gutter-slut.
Delilah: I don't know why you keep being such a bad example for your people.
Marybeth: What people?
Delilah: I hope you're not a violent lesbian like your new found
friend, here?
Marybeth: No, I'm not aware of any lesbianism in my lineage.
Delilah: That's too bad Stokely, guess you have to keep looking for Ms Right.
Stokely: Bipolar bitch.
Casey: I say we go for the coach. He turned Stan. He's the one. Or do you want to wait for them to come to us?
Marybeth: Either way we're completely unarmed.
Zeke: Maybe not. I might have some more skat. In my trunk.
Casey: In your trunk? In your car? Amongst the aliens? Oh, that's convenient.
Zeke: [Holds up his car keys] You got a better idea?