Tim: [about "Blackbird"] That's my special song! My parents wrote it just for me.
Boss Baby: Your parents are Lennon and McCartney?
Tim: No, Ted and Janice! You don't even know their names!
Tim: [from trailer]
[about the baby]
Tim: Look at him! He wears a suit...
Mother: He's like a little man!
Tim: He carries a briefcase! Does no one else think that's, oh, I don't know, a little freaky?
Tim: The people of Long Island do not know how to make an iced tea.
[from trailer]
[at a conference with other babies]
Boss Baby: Put... that... cookie... down! Cookies are for closers!
Boss Baby: I can't do this without you, Tim. I need you.
Tim: I guess we DO make a pretty good team.
Boss Baby: No literally... I can't reach the doorknobs.
Tim: [regarding Baby Corp] So this whole place is run by babies?
Boss Baby: Yep.
Tim: My dad says "Those who can, do. And those who can't, supervise."
Boss Baby: Your father is a hippie.
Tim: Can't we just share?
Boss Baby: You obviously didn't go to business school.
[repeated line]
Boss Baby: Fart! Poop! Doody!
[after the end credits; the alarm clock goes off]
Wizzie: Wake up, little halflings. It's time to leave. Go and live your peasant lives.
[the background music goes higher]
Wizzie: [flailing his arms up and down] Be gone with you!
[fade to black]
Tim: Who ARE you?
Boss Baby: I'm the *boss*.
Boss Baby: [in puppy costume] I've never been so humiliated in all my LIFE.
[dog sniffs costume's bottom part]
Boss Baby: Ugh!
Dad, Mother: [singing "Blackbird"] Blackbird singing in the dead of night / Take these broken wings and learn to fly / All your life / You were only waiting for this moment to arise.
Tim: Even though I never went to business school I did learn to share in kindergarten. And if there isn't enough love for the two of us then I wanna give you all of mine.
Boss Baby: Tim, I may look like a baby, but I was born all grown up.
Tim: I can't even imagine not being a kid. You missed out on your whole childhood? You never had someone to love you?
Boss Baby: [yawning] Well, you can't miss what you never had.
Dad: Look, they have a puppy pool and everything!
Mother: [sarcastically] Isn't that sanitary?
Tim: You can't be fired from your own family. Can you?
Tim: [to Boss Baby] What if you go baby again?
Boss Baby: Don't worry. I'll be fine.
[Goes into normal baby mode]
Boss Baby: Fine, fine, fine...
[Slaps]
Boss Baby: ... fine!
Dad: Meet your new baby
[in slow motion]
Dad: brother.
