Steve Allen
Steve Allen

If the Old Testament were a reliable guide in the matter of capital punishment, half the people in the United States would have to be killed tomorrow.

Steve Allen
Steve Allen

In general, the straight line of a joke sets up a premise, an expectation. Then the funny ending - the punch line - in a sense contradicts the original assumption by refusing to follow what had seemed a reasonable train of thought. Many jokes involve that simple matter of leaping outside what had appeared to be the rules of the game at the moment.

Steve Allen
Steve Allen

Do I ever get questions that are rude or impertinent? Yes, but I love to use them. The audience immediately perceives the emotional awkwardness of the situation.

Steve Allen
Steve Allen

If we do not know what humor is, that may be because we do not know what humankind is.

Steve Allen
Steve Allen

What people will - or will not - laugh at is mainly determined by their social conditioning.

Steve Allen
Steve Allen

Given a little time for the pain to subside, dreadful experiences often can be the basis of funny jokes or stories.