Rick Ford: We have to stop the sale of a nuclear bomb. They send in someone who looks like Santa Claus' fucking wife!
Susan Cooper: Uh, did you forget? I am undercover because you are not supposed to be here!
Rick Ford: Well I make a habit out of doing things that people say I can't do: Walk through fire, waterski blindfolded, take
up piano at a late age.
Susan Cooper: Well, here's to your mom.
Rayna Boyanov: To my mother. And to you.
Susan Cooper: And here's to you. I mean you may never be as wise as an owl but you'll always be a hoot to me! Haha.
Rayna Boyanov: What a stupid fucking retarded toast. You're delightful.
Susan Cooper: As
are you.
[they clink their glasses]
[last lines]
Susan Cooper: [wakes up next to Ford] Aaaaah!
Rick Ford: Oh, stop screaming, you loved it!
[hugs her]
Susan Cooper: Ugh, God.
Nancy B. Artingstall: Do you know what? You play it too safe.
Susan Cooper: Oh maybe you're right. I just... I still, you know, hear my mom's voice... "well-behaved women often make history."
Nancy B. Artingstall: Yes you do know the phrase is, "well-behaved women *seldom* make history."
Susan Cooper: Yeah
that's never how she said it.
Nancy B. Artingstall: What were her others, uh...
Susan Cooper: Oh, "just blend in, let somebody else win."
Nancy B. Artingstall: Classic.
Susan Cooper: I got that a lot in high school. And there was, "give up on your dreams, Susan." She used to write that in my lunchbox.
Bradley Fine: [has gun pointed at Tihomir] Tell me where the bomb is. Ten seconds or you're dead.
Tihomir Boyanov: Interesting. You see, when my men and I hid it, I made sure to erase any witnesses. And then I erased the erasers. Which means, I'm now the only one who knows just where that dangerously compact and transportable nuke is. So... I'd say I have
more than ten seconds.
Bradley Fine: Well then in that case, I'd say you'd better st-
[sneezes and accidentally shoots Tihomir in the head]
Bradley Fine: Oh, fuck...
Susan Cooper: [on earpiece] Oh my God, why did you do that?
Bradley Fine: I didn't do it on purpose; there's like a ton of pollen
in here!
Rick Ford: I told you to send me in there instead of Fine, and you didn't. And now Fine's *dead*. I'm going the fuck in.
Elaine Crocker: You can't. We need someone to follow De Luca without being detected... And that will hopefully take us to Rayna, but it can't be any of you.
Rick Ford: Here's what we do... I go into the Face/Off
machine, get a whole new face. I turn up, they never know it's me.
Elaine Crocker: Do you have quarters? Because it costs 50 cents.
Rick Ford: What, I gotta pay?
Elaine Crocker: *No*, because it doesn't exist
Rick Ford: Yes, it does! I heard Cress and Wright talking about it in the shitter.
[Points to Cress and Wright as they look down, hiding there laughter]
Elaine Crocker: I'm sure they were pulling your leg.
Rick Ford: You pair of fucking vaginas!
[Cress and Wright burst out laughing]
Elaine Crocker: Seriously? You've got to cut that out.
Rayna Boyanov: Fuck! People are trying to kill me and all that's left of my security guard is you two and you look like someone's demented aunts on vacation! You!
[Points at Susan]
Rayna Boyanov: Don't you have someone in your team other than this asthmatic big bird?
Nancy B. Artingstall: I'm very non-physically resourceful. I read a lot of intelligence, I read a lot of poems, and I've read all of the 'Hunger Games'.
Rayna Boyanov: How is that helpful?