Kikuchiyo: Goddamn samurai...
[He falls asleep on the straw and starts snoring loudly]
Katsushiro: Is he really a samurai?
Kambei Shimada: Only in his mind.
Gorobei Katayama: How did you fare?
Kambei Shimada: We let a good fish get away. An excellent swordsman.
Gorobei Katayama: [laughs] They say the fish that gets away looks bigger than it really is.
Heihachi Hayashida: Actually, kids work harder than adults. But only if you treat them like adults.
Kyuzo: Don't you see? A real sword will kill you.
[first lines]
Bandit second-in-command: We'll take this place next.
Bandit Chief: We took it last autumn. They haven't got anything worth taking yet. Let's wait.
Gorobei Katayama: The threshing's done and still no bandits. Everyone's saying they might not come after all.
Kambei Shimada: A tempting thought. But when you think you're safe is precisely when you're most vulnerable.
Katsushiro: [gushing about Kyuzo] He has the real samurai spirit. He is totally fearless. Yet, at the same time, he is gentle, and modest - look how he acted after we went and got that gun. And how he went too - just as though he were going up into the hills to look for mushrooms.
Kikuchiyo: [sarcastically] Fascinating. I'm not bored at all, I swear.
Gorobei Katayama: I'm with you. But I have to say that although I understand the farmers' suffering and understand why you would take up their cause, it's your character that I find most compelling. In life one finds friends in the strangest places.
Kikuchiyo: You all make great scarecrows. Problem is, the enemy isn't a bunch of sparrows and crows!
Shichiroji: That bandit said their fort...
Kyuzo: It's hardly a fort.
Kikuchiyo: It's full of holes, like Yohei's underwear.
Kikuchiyo: Use your balls, if you've got any!
Old Woman: I don't want to live any more. But I'm afraid the next world will be terrible, too...
Heihachi Hayashida: No, no. It's paradise. No bandits or anything. It's very nice.
Kikuchiyo: [loudly] How do you know? Ever been dead?
Heihachi Hayashida: [to Kikuchiyo] You needn't yell at me.
Kikuchiyo: You there, chewing your cud. Can you cut that out? This isn't a cow shed!
Heihachi Hayashida: [after Kikuchiyo made the peasants exit their homes by sounding the alarm, and scolded them] We are now seven.
Farmer Manzo: Consider who we're dealing with here. Give a wolf a taste of your leg and he'll ask for your hand.
Kikuchiyo: Got a problem, gramps?
Gisaku: Nope. All's well now.
Kikuchiyo: Hey, everybody. Give your wives plenty of lovin' tonight, you hear?
[Villagers and Samurai laugh]
Kikuchiyo: Hot damn! Look at all those girls!
[He bounds enthusiastically over to Yohei and taps him playfully on the shoulder]
Kikuchiyo: Where the hell have you been hiding these girls?
